IDigAK

Quote of the Day

2010-09-16T18:33:00.001-05:00

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by encouraging class hatred. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn. You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.
-Abraham Lincoln

pearls before swine

2009-03-20T11:28:00.003-05:00

Oblivion must be an incredibly
comfortable place to be.

I say "no comment".
And my heart pounds.

What about the obvious?
Are you so blinded?

You're the one who said 100%.
Not me.

You're all a bunch of whores.
Guys and girls alike.
Young and old.

Ive never heard the voices reach such a volume level.
Everyone thinks they know.

But they don't care.
About responsibility.
Much less morality.

And when I speak up,
you ridicule.

You fling back
with nothing but your commie preconceptions.

You react
with pagan mumbo jumbo.

You simply regurgitate
that humanistic bullshit.

Becuase you, my friends,
are closed minded.
And hopeless.

You have my pity.

Red Envelope Fools?

2009-02-26T13:31:00.004-06:00

::OPEN LETTER::Re: Red Envelope Day

I'm really not sure what to make of the Red Envelope Day phenomenon.

I agree with it in principle. It sounds like a great way to emphasize a great cause.

But I have one question, why on March 31st? The way I see things playing out is for everyone to mail their thousands of red envelopes on Tuesday, March the 31st. They then hit the USPS system that night, concentrating towards Washington DC the next morning, and hitting the White House that same day, April 1st, a.k.a. April Fools Day.

Granted, I will admit that not all of them will get there in one day. The material point, however, is that the massive influx will begin that next day.

I'm really curious, does anyone know the significance of why the founder of the Red Envelope Day movement picked March 31st? Did he ever state his reasoning for that day?

Also, why are any discussion boards or forums disabled on the facebook group/page/event? (which is the place I would have rathered to publish this open letter)

It seems to me that this is one massive April Fools prank on President Obama, the Capitol, the USPS, the gullible American populace, and, ultimately, on the very group seeking to make their point. Won't the pro-lifers be the fool when the news broadcast throughout the country on the evening news on April 1st, 2009 is all about a massive prank pulled over on the ignorant conservatives of the United States; and if anything is said about the supposed intended purpose, I see it as a footnote to the stupidity of those who participated.

Please anyone, chime in! I'm curious to see this thought has occurred to anyone else? I'm also curious to see if I can actually get in touch with the administrators of the movement.

Bond, James Bond

2008-10-28T17:51:00.009-05:00

In Lieu of Shades...

2008-09-01T01:47:00.005-05:00

Dear Coffee Clubbers:

I know assuming is not something of which to make a regular practice, but I'm going to do it and assume that the fact that it is Labor Day weekend is the reason no one showed up for small group this morning! Well, no one except for myself and one other person, at which point we both pulled out our textbooks and proceeded to do homework. Boring student-types.

But regardless, I didn't want to neglect the opportunity to share what was on my mind about this weeks discussion.

I have to admit that last week, as I sat listening to Brad's message, I couldn't help but think to myself, "I really don't want to hear this. I know I should hear it. And I know that I should want to hear it. And absorb it. And really take it all to heart. But I don't wanna."

The whole point of the message being 'FAITH IS BELIEVING GOD DESPITE THE OBSTACLES'.

During this stage of my life, every fiber of my being just seems to revolt against every word of that statement, even though I know it is true. You know the feeling, I'm sure.

I know that FAITH is right up there with hope and love as one of the main christian virtues. I know that believing God is the only sane thing to do. But the obstacles are so great, it seems. At least to me, right now. And I often feel that my faith has been DESPITE for so long. I know that deep down inside I want to press on. I want to believe in the music (pardon the shameless reference to the August Rush, get with the program, ok?). I want to keep pressing forward. But every time I take one step forward, it seem I am hurled three steps backward.

Please understand, I'm not trying to dwell on my troubles here, I'm just sharing where I am in an effort to illustrate the point.

To quote Brad last Sunday evening,
"Isn't it true? ...that life has a way of knocking our dreams and our aspirations out of us?
Right now, You're trying to move forward but life has just knocked it out of you..."

I couldn't have put it better.

But he went on to describe the challenge of faith:

Faith is Believing When No One Else Does. August held on to his belief staunchly that he would be able to follow the music to follow his parents, even when the bullies tried to 'knock some sense into him,' or 'knock the dreams and aspirations out of him,' whichever way you want to put it.

Faith is Believing God for the Future. Abram and Sarai clung to God's promise that they would indeed have a son, even though it was humanly impossible. But sometimes, it appears, clinging to that belief does in fact sometimes involve ignoring a bit of that common sense. You know? Even when it seems straight up impossible, faith is knowing deep down inside that fulfillment will come.

Faith is Believing God Despite the Obstacles. This is the biggie for me. The obstacles to faith include doubt, enemies/doubters, discouragement, weariness, circumstances, toxic environments, sin, failure, etc. The man or woman of faith learns to walk by faith in the midst of obstacles. They trust God so deeply that they cannot give up.

Think about all this for a minute. What is one vision or dream of yours, a passion, if you will, that has been delayed? What hope do you have that seems just out of reach?

I'm not talking about fame and fortune. I'm not trying to walk you through the steps of achieving you life's fullest potential as you see it. More than anything, I'm trying to walk myself through the discouragement that seems to haunt me at every turn.

And after I left church last week, I knew God was not going to let me off the hook. He wasn't going to let me just drive away and leave the whole subject behind. And He didn't.

As the week played out, I can't say anything changed. The circumstances of everyday life were just as difficult and trying as ever. The "toxic environments" Brad mentioned seemed to keep on poisoning me. If anything, the disappointments just kept building up.

But the one thing that God kept impressing on me was this: to look for things about which to be grateful; to not focus on the downs, but on the ups; to truly give thanks in everything.

I wish I could say that that was the silver bullet of building faith. It's not. But it did change my perspective over the last week. I found myself on the phone talking to a friend, recounting the events of my day in the most whiney, complainy tone ever. But then I was reminded to be grateful, and I turned it all around, saying, "...but you know, there were two good things that happened today! In fact, I DIDN'T get in that wreck, no matter how narrowly I avoided it, my car is still fine, and so is theirs! And the other thing...I can't remember what the other thing is, but something else happened that was good!" (by the way, I still hate having to take 81st in rush hour...it is the devil's own road.)

So keep thinking about that dream of yours, that aspiration or hope. What is it that is knocking it out of you, so to speak? What makes it seem so impossible?

When you stop to think about it, and just take the moment to remind yourself of the entire universe that God created, and the ongoing care He exercises to keep the earth spinning on it's axis, and the intimate concern He takes with each one of our lives, no matter how trivial...you cannot but admit that if He is so great to be capable of all that, what is so great about your personal obstacle that He cannot change? Who are we, after all, to assume that we know everything about the circumstances we encounter? When in fact He knows everything, is in control of it all, and has already promised to work it all together for good...

And another great quote from Brad, this is one that really got me: "Faith is seeing what God sees for us."

Faith is what says, "I know there are missiles coming my way, and these God given dreams in my heart, they're going to be obliterated, unless, of course, you put up the shield of faith, and remind yourself, 'Who is God, and can He be trusted?'"

Think for a moment about the words of St. Augustine: "Faith is to believe what you do not see, but the reward of this faith is to see what you believe."

Look at the parallelism there! Isn't it beautiful? and incredibly profound.

I can't exactly say my week totally balanced out. There were still a good many missiles fired my way. But I kept reminding myself to be grateful for the little things. I kept reminding myself to refuse to let go of those goals I'd set in the faith that God was working on my behalf. Saturday morning, I sold the car I'd been trying to sell for weeks. That was one goal I'd placed out there. I knew I had to get rid of it in order to take action on other things. And after several false promises by would-be buyers, a family came along who really needed it, and I was happy to sell it to them. And they even gave me the full asking price for it! Can you tell I'm excited?!?

Sometimes, that vision is just so far off, but don't forget that "the vision is yet for an appointed time...though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." (Habakkuk 2:3)

Wait for it. Wait for it. Aren't those simply the three hardest words to take to heart? Those three words are the essence of faith. The greatest challenge that we will likely experience.

So, what is that God-given dream that you have all but given up on? Do you really Trust Him? Are you willing to wait?

Or, on a more basic level, are you wanting to be willing to wait for it?

Please consider these things deeply. And since we didn't get the chance to sit down face to face this week, feel free to share your experiences and thoughts in a reply. I would love to hear the encouragement of how He is building that faith and trust in your life. I think we all would, right?

Act Two: This Workforce Stuff Really Blows

2008-08-23T15:20:00.000-05:00

My American Life: a tragedy in three acts

After so much derision, after so much two-faced double speak, after so much belittling and false accusation, the only logical or sane response is to just not care anymore. As much as I want to, I cannot care anymore. If I did, I'd go crazy. The bar is set too high, the demands too unreasonable, the resources too insufficient.

In an ideal world I'd be managing a delicate balance of training, employee relations, quality control, safety compliance, annual certification reviews, production reporting, as well as all the other little things that are necessary to make an operation run smoothly.

But it's not an ideal world. Nor am I a perfect person. Which simply means that all of the above still applies. Except for the balance part. Or maybe just the delicate, because it is all still due every day. But there's not a whole lot of delicate. More like frantic or crazed.

When I first made the promotion I had two goals only. My first commitment was to myself and not a requirement. Even though I wasn't sure of the circumstances the future would hold, I was determined to hold the position for one whole year before moving on; partly for my resume, and partly for personal satisfaction, and partly for the learning experience.

It has now been 15 and a half months.

My second goal was clearly stated, and quite brief, but nowhere near as simple to implement. The workgroup I inherited from my predecessor had a reputation. And not a good one. It was hands down the worst group in the building, even the district. It was at the very bottom. And I said then, "If I can so much as get this group off the very bottom rung of the ladder, I don't even care if we make it to any sort of a remarkable ranking, but just off of the very bottom of the pile, if I can do that one thing, then I will have succeeded."

I worked my butt off. And in the first three months, we shed the reputation.

Granted, it's been off and on since then. The group has seen a fair amount of turnover like the rest of the operation and with new people, we've bounced around, competing with others to not be in that dead last position. But as any of the previous managers of this particular workgroup will tell you, "there's something different about Metro 4. It's not like the others, it's got different challenges, and different problems, and it's not in the same league."

So, why, if I achieved those goals am I so pissed off with the whole production?

Apparently I've accomplished another feat as well. This one was certainly not a goal, but it has been completed nonetheless.

I have tried. I have succeeded at times; and I have failed at others. But never have I wallowed in defeat. I figure, if I leave in the middle of failure, I leave behind a final defeat. But if I wait till I'm a success and I've beaten those challenges and gotten ahead, why leave then, if things are all so peachy?

I say all this, though, to say: I'm no quitter. I will press on. And I'm not one to run from a challenge.

But motivating these folks to work hard is like motivating a sloth to run; or better, motivating a slug to jump. The faster and better they work, the easier it will be on them. At least that's what I've convinced myself of and what I've been convinced to tell them. It's partially true, I think. But I'm not even sure of my own level of indoctrination anymore. I'm already enough of a cynic, I don't need to pursue it any more. Which is what it would take to separate fact from fiction around here. The reality that I do know, though, is that the faster they work, the less they get paid.

It's easier on me when they do, but that's not much of a motivation for the average worker. Sure they like me, and they are glad I'm around, but they don't love me. By crossing the management divide I became part of the system where every boss is hated to a certain degree just by virtue of the position. And try as one might, the divide defies crossing.

But too much challenge, too little reward, too much demand, too little resources, too much shitty leadership from above, and too much expectation of superhuman leadership from me, and I am what I was warned to not be. I am a hardened cynic. I am a complaining, whining company bitch. And I do not care.

Worse yet? That last goal I accomplished... What I've become has worked in others the same that was worked in me. I've seen it twice now, and I saw it begin again this week. My workers, embarking on the same pattern of recognizing futile effort, hardening as a cynic, and lapsing into total defeat and nonchalance. They don't care either.

When I see myself reproducing that model which I so despise and which I personally swore never to perpetuate...that's my glowing exit sign, hanging over the door, signaling my time to go.

Close to Home

2008-08-11T15:31:00.003-05:00

Many kudos, thanks, accolades, props, and congratulations go out to a dude by the name of Craig Stutzman.

Here's why.

Act One: School Is Easy

2008-07-08T21:10:00.000-05:00

My American Life: a tragedy in three acts

Yes, it's true. Three papers in the hole. One speech to plan. They say to be really prepared, you've got to spend one hour in preparation and research for every minute of speaking. I believe it. Last night I began with a simple sentence outline. Began with the outline and built the speech on it. Five and a half hours later, I had only two hours left of work to do. Too bad I didn't have as much time to sleep.

But it's a good thing I was just talking about coffee. I got to put theory into practice. I just downed a pot and went to work. So leaving work early (which really only means I have to go in early tomorrow) bought me the remaining prep time, and I knocked that speech out of the ball park. Fast-paced visuals. Interactive props. And seven and a half well-prepared, well-outlined, and well-documented minutes later, I walked off with my expected, but well-earned one hundred percent.

And that's the easy class. That was just for fun. Cause really, I could'a gotten away with just the basics. But I didn't.

Because. I. Am. An. Overachiever.

No? The rest of the week wont be so easy. A short essay. All sorts of topic work, annotated bibliography stuff, eight sources...all before I even begin work on the Grand Final Paper. Then there's something about the Animal Kingdom. And how it's going to be so important to read every word of Chapter 19. Because it's going to be on the final. Which I plan on taking and forgetting. But not before I commit it all to fragile memory. And write another four-pager. And complete the other available assignment.

It's available, I say, because it's extra credit. Which technically I don't need. But maybe, just maybe...what if I bomb it on that Animal Kingdom stuff? What if for some reason the whole Cancer Study falls through? Then I'd be kicking myself.

So I'll do it. Happily even.

Over-Achievement. All-Mighty A.

But you know why I say it's easy? Because it is. It's so simple:

I get to go and sit down. And watch someone talk. And they tell me what to do. So I do it. And if I forget, there's always a handy piece of paper to let me know what is next.

If I fail, which is relative, because every one sets their own goals, really, so my failing might be someone else's satisfaction, but if I fail, I fail on my own merit. I know what it was I didn't complete on time. Or which Test Questions I got wrong. Which chapter I didn't study. And I can always make up for it with that handy extra credit. Because I over-achieve, setting arbitrary goals just because I can. And not just because I can, but because they're so easy. Simple, really.

Prepare the goat for sacrifice!

2008-07-01T11:25:00.004-05:00

Haha...I couldn't help sharing it...

Since the dawn of time, people have been in control of their tools. The stone-age primitive knew the properties of flint and how to turn it into sharp axes. Peasants in the Middle Ages knew how a plow was constructed and how to use it to till their fields. And they sure knew how to master their oxen. In recent history, people used to understand automobiles: even if they were not trained mechanics, drivers in the 1950s knew much of what was under the hood, knew the meaning of the various sounds their car might make, and knew how to fix the beast if it acted up.
Today, the average computer user lives under a reign of terror where he or she is subjected to loss of data at the whim of a blue screen that appears at unexplainable times. We have lost 2,000 years' of progress in rationalist thinking and reverted to superstitious and animist behavior where users chant magic incantations at their computer without understanding the meaning but hoping that the outcome will be blessed. Look at offices around the world and count the number of yellow sticky-notes at the side of computer monitors and you will know what I mean. Each sticky-note has a magic incantation on it with a number of steps that are followed as an offering to the Great Machine. If step 5 in printing handouts from a slide presentation were to sacrifice a goat, then people would do that just as gladly as they click a checkbox they don't understand.

-Jakob Nielsen, in Designing Web Usability

Word of the Day

2008-06-28T17:43:00.003-05:00

::mood::deprived
::music::Pipedreams 0821-Paul Jacobs at Verizon Hall

vicissitude

noun
1. the quality or state of being changeable. natural change or mutation visible in nature or in human affairs

Example:
"A sense of constancy can be derived from unchanging marks that can be carried along no matter what the physical, temporal, or geographical vicissitudes at hand. Tattoos stay, while all else may change." A. Martin, On Teenagers and Tattoos

Quote of the Day

2008-05-27T15:21:00.002-05:00

Speak not to me
about stereo-typing
until you have ceased to be
so stereo-typical.
-Cate

Quote of the Day

2008-05-22T14:41:00.000-05:00

I was going to post another quote. But I found this one buried in my archives. And it jumped out at me. More than the other one. So, I'll post the other, funnier one later.

Meanwhile, I think I'm gonna give this one some time to digest. I need it...good 'ol Gipper...

"My philosophy about life
is that if we make up our mind
what we are going to make of our lives,
then work hard toward that goal,
we never lose - somehow we win out."
-Ronald Reagan

Comparison and Contrast

2008-05-04T15:09:00.004-05:00

People show up, just looking to have a good time. They congregate and talk, making sure to give just the right impression. After all, everyone's just after a little honest-to-goodness fulfillment in life. And so they've got to make sure that it looks that way to everyone around. Which means they get into everything that is the status quo. They get into the singing, and the standing around and talking...even inviting new friends to make sure that they can share in all the fun.

They begin by going up to those people they know and greeting them, catching up on the latest gossip. Then of course it goes on to acknowledging those who they met last time and recognize as such but really don't remember their name or care that much about them. So that quickly degenerates and folks go on to meeting someone new. Why? Well, it's not because they really care about the new person so much as it's just what you do.

Besides, you never know what introducing yourself might get you. All sorts things come to those who make new acquaintances.

But inevitably, people end up doing something stupid. Something idiotic. But that's not such a big deal. Everyone's in one stage or another of weird behavior. It might not really make sense. But hey, whatever you gotta do to fit in.

It's just what you do.

Anybody not yet part of the system might stand off to the side for a while. Just watching and taking it all it. Better to get a feel for the goings on before really jumping in.

But those who've been around awhile...they know the system. They know what to say. They know how to act. They know where to be and who to know. And who not to know. Pretty much, for these people, the world is at their fingertips. And for the most part, they'll get anything they want just by working the system. Most everyone else just kinda gets outta their way.

Everyone else is just there because that's all there is to do. It's better than sitting around at home, apparently.

It's just what you do.

And heaven forbid you have some outlandish idea like, "none of this really makes sense". Nothing will get you expelled faster. Not really expelled as in 'walked to the door expelled'. But you wont fit in. And everyone wants to fit in. So anyone who's sticking around is going to become part of the self-sustaining, vulnerable, idiotic, brainwashed system.

The only difference is, the folks at the karaoke bar have alcohol to blame for it all.
Church folks don't.

A day in my drinks...er, life...

2008-04-30T15:04:00.003-05:00

Inspired by the sundry empty cups and glasses on my desk right now, I had the idea to tally up all the different drinks I've had so far today. And come to find out it's rather varied.

One McDonalds Vanilla Latte (hey, it was free while they're doing their promo thing, and yes, it was that bad)
One Starbucks Venti iced black tea
Second half some Starbucks Pike's Place Roast drip coffee left over in my travel mug from yesterday (No, I do not mind day old coffee. No, I do not think that is weird.)
One Apple Juice
One glass of water (yeah, I know, after all that I really should have two. But that's for later.)
One half of a glass of strawberry/raspberry/coconut smoothie (homemade, of course)
And who knows what else to come...I'm feelin some more iced tea. Only, sweet this time!

please enjoy the hold music...

2008-04-25T16:35:00.002-05:00

So, I wont get a call back from Sharly till next monday at best. So I wont be getting those reports until prolly the day after that.

And I have to wait 24-48 hrs for my site to publish before I can begin testing.

So, I guess I'll begin brainstorming on the other project I've got on the side.

It pays to be multi-tasking, apparently. So when one thing stalls, no worries, just cycle on to the next thing!

Tax Freedom Day

2008-04-23T17:18:00.002-05:00

YAY! It's Tax Freedom Day today!!!

The average American is now free to earn money to pay for things like housing, medical expenses, and food.

On April 23rd.

That's right, up until now, we've all been working to feed Uncle Sam.

Make you feel better?

Eavesdroppings from a day in the coffeeshop...

2008-04-20T15:48:00.001-05:00

Talkative dude: "On a basic level, we were designed to lie down in the tall grass, eat grapes, and have sex. And the extent to which we do not do that is the extent to which we create stress for ourselves.

3-year-old Kid: "I've never tasted coffee before!" Takes a sip. "Mmmm! Tastes like Baileys!"

Feist at Cains - 4.14.08 - The Proof...

2008-04-15T14:20:00.002-05:00

The Proof...I was there...

...and what an amazing show it was!

...a little sump'm sump'm

2008-04-07T14:49:00.005-05:00

...because I was reminded yesterday, that my blogging is not about me or my vanity, but about what I want down the road. And that is to be able to look back, and have a history of stories of my life, a series of vignettes that tell the story of the whole, and that seem to patch together the incoherency of the present. That, I was reminded, is why I am a blogger.

Today's quote, by one of my favorite authors:

The supreme happiness of life
is the conviction that we are loved;
loved for ourselves-say rather,
loved in spite of ourselves.
-Victor Hugo

Another tidbit, because grassroots is where it's at.

by my friends, bob and eric

And with that, I'll be back...sooner.

Still Falls The Rain

2008-02-18T15:20:00.003-06:00

Still falls the rain—
Dark as the world of man, black as our loss—
Blind as the nineteen hundred and forty nails
Upon the cross.
Still falls the rain—
With a sound like the pulse of the heart
That is changed to the hammer-beat
In the potter's field, and the sound of the impious feet
On the tomb:
Still falls the rain—
In the field of blood
where the small hopes breed and the human brain
Nurtures its greed, that worm with the brow of Cain.
Still falls the rain—
At the feet of the starved man hung upon the cross.
Christ that each day, each night, nails there, have mercy on us—
On Dives and on Lazarus:
Under the rain the sore and the gold are as one.
Still falls the rain—
Still falls the blood from the starved man's wounded side:
He bears in his heart all wounds, — those of the light that died,
The last faint spark
In the self-murdered heart,
the wounds of the sad uncomprehending dark,
The wounds of the baited bear—
The blind and weeping bear whom the keepers beat
On his helpless flesh…the tears of the hunted hare.
Still falls the rain—
Then— O Ile leape up to my God: who pulles me doune—
See, see where Christ's blood streames in the firmament:
It flows from the brow we nailed upon the tree
Deep to the dying, to the thirsting heart
That holds the fires of the world, — dark-smirched with pain
As Caesar's laurel crown.
Then sounds the voice of one who like the heart of man
Was once a child who among beasts has lain—
“Still do I love, still shed my innocent light, my blood, for thee.”

The Blitz is the word that the English use to refer to the sustained German bombing of London and other cities across the United Kingdom between September 1940 and May 1941, during which over 43,000 people perished. In 1942, Dame Edith Sitwell composed this poem in direct response to the Blitz. Sitwell once described this poem in a letter to Benjamin Britten as one of the proudest achievements of her life. With its insistent rhyme and images of Christian suffering, the poem has a relentless quality, much like the bombardment which it memorializes. Of its more obscure references include Potter’s field (a place of burial for the unknown), the brow of Cain (the Bible's first murderer), and Dives and Lazarus (a Biblical pairing of the wealthy man and the destitute beggar) who become equal under the violent rain of war.

Toasting Life

2008-01-01T15:56:00.000-06:00

I wrote this a while back. But I just happened to pick up a book today, and out fell the paper on which I'd originally written this.

And as I read through it again, it hit me how fitting is is for today, being New Years Day, as well as the whole of the coming year.

Originally, it was titled "Of Living Death". Somehow, that isn't fitting anymore. I like it better this way. I like the idea of...

Toasting Life

Time and place
Rhyme and rhythm
Why are they so elusive?
Pictures and visions
Thoughts and dreams
There's only one life to live.

If wind could only
Talk of what it's seen
Would it tell of vanished hopes?
And dreams could only
Speak their piece
Revealing emptiness of imagination?

When thoughts have given
way to words
And dreams to written
Plans of future
Why do I sit in blissful trance
Not quite moving to the rhythm of dance?

Treat this peace
this wretched calm
As if it were living hell
Now end this suffocation
Of perfect dreams
There's only one life to live.

What makes me mad...

2007-11-23T13:08:00.000-06:00

Few things get me more riled up than irresponsibility: when some individual human being either refuses to, or has been rendered incapable of taking responsibility for their past, present, and future thoughts, actions, and attitudes, and the ongoing effects (consequences, if you will) each of these will have on their own life and relationships, the life and relationships of everyone they come in contact with, as well as the the corporate environment of any organization they are involved in.

Yes, one person does matter that much.

And this guy just pointed out how I'm going to have to deal with it for the rest of my life, and increasingly so, as it is a self-perpetuating, viscous cycle, unable to redeem itself.

Grrrr...

So, while you think your precious children are off at their local government school learning how to read, how to do basic mathematical computations, how to communicate effectively in the English language – plus a bit about science, health, our economic system and American and world history – your kids may instead be engaging in exercises created by leftist, anti-capitalist college professors designed to teach them that wealth is distributed, rather than earned, and that our economic system is based on something comparable to a mad scramble for pennies.

Here, I want you to read the entire instructions for this classroom exercise. Go through the entire exercise and see if you can find the word "earn" one single time. Read the exercise for yourself and see if you can find one reference to actually working to acquire wealth. Look for any reference to the benefits that can flow from good decision making.

Students, for instance, are given the opportunity to donate pennies to others, but the exercise does not give students with more pennies the option of actually hiring a student with less to actually perform some task or chore (clean out my book bag?) in exchange for a few pennies. No! Never! We can't teach that in a government school! Why in the world would we want to teach school children that preparation, knowledge, training, hard work and good decision making are the keys to acquiring wealth?

These institutions are no longer schools. They are government indoctrination centers, owned and operated by government and staffed by government employees who have every reason to teach dependency on government and no reason to produce a generation of children who have learned how to depend on themselves.

The single most prevalent form of child abuse in this country is the act of sending a child to a government school. We worry incessantly about the separation of church and state. We would do well to devote half as much attention to the separation of government and education.

Call him extreme. But it's true. This system of education only breeds irresponsibility.

Just shoot me now.

He's Going to be HERE!

2007-10-04T13:34:00.000-05:00

::mood::full
::music::tulsamusicpulse

"Miami to Las Vegas & Home Again" featuring David Osborne on the Steinway at the Coleman Theatre [more info...]

October 18, 2007, at 7:30PM

The Coleman Theatre continues its Centennial Celebration with this hometown favorite. For more information, call 540.2425.

Bedtime snack

2007-10-03T21:32:00.000-05:00

::mood::sleepy
::music::not right now

A little slice of heaven, it is...
...a freshly opened jar of peanut butter.

My grandpa's grandson, am I...
...smearing it on crackers just before bed.

Quote of the Day

2007-09-27T12:13:00.000-05:00

"Everyone thinks of changing
the world,

but no one thinks of
changing himself."

-leo tolstoy

UPS Man

2007-09-24T13:41:00.000-05:00

::mood::laughing out loud
::music::deep enough to dream, from the album short term memories by chris rice

take this, firefighters of america...

...who's got the sexiest job now?

...that perfect

2007-09-23T21:57:00.000-05:00

::mood::calm
::music::1234, from the album The Reminder by Feist

I went for a drive tonight up riverside drive. I was in a perfectly nonchalant, drive-five-miles-under-the-speed-limit kind of a mood, perusing the latest in Tulsa's new jazz radio selection.

107.9.

103.7.

I had several hours before either PipeDreams or Hearts of Space came on on my favorite public radio 107.3 KOSU. So, I rolled my window halfway down, let some of the drizzle wet my arm as I navigated the tranquility that is to be found between the potholes.

I'd had the chance to become fully refreshed as far as sleep goes earlier this morning, and all seemed to be at peace. I was rested, full from a hearty dinner, and on my way to collect a check. All the gears just meshed perfectly. Nothing seemed to be stressing at the moment.

The only problem being, as the evening progressed, I found myself desperately trying to make that feeling last, to prolong the serenity, and extend the perfect drive into the perfect day into the perfect week...only, it kept returning to normal.

The same routine. The same places. The same people. The same problems.

Which is life. I know alot of it appears to be the same thing day after day after day.

I just wish it actually all be that coordinated...that calm...that quintessential splash of almost-guilty pleasure that follows a series of well-planned occurrences: that perfect.

eAxis of Evil

2007-09-05T17:12:00.000-05:00

::mood::sleepy
::music::run to the sun, from the album i say, i say, i say by erasure

for anyone more than briefly acquainted with me, it should be common knowledge my small-time pre-occupation with internet security.

I'm not talking about making sure you're online bank account is safe from phishers. But more of the simple stuff...the kind of stuff that will lead up to having your bank account hacked and your credit record ruined.

on that same note, personal and online lives are becoming so intertwined that the wealth of easy-access information about a person is available to future employers, parents, friends, significant others...anyone with a care and the time to google your name.

AND NOW, COMING SOON!!!!

MORE EFFECTIVE SEARCHING!!!

...courtesy of, you guessed it, the new devil in town: Facebook.

We all regard it as a fact, that wikipedia contains very few (...facts, that is), which hasn't stopped google, who already knows everything you never wanted them to know about you, from linking to it profusely, who is now being aided and abetted by their not-so-distant-cousin: Facebook.

And, viola! You have your newly formed coalition: the eAxis of Evil. The good ol' WGF breakin' it down!

Unless, of course, you choose to exclude yourself from the indexing by all major search engines.

I already have.

CLICK FOR LARGER IMAGES

Cheerio!

I'm Sorry

2007-09-04T17:37:00.000-05:00

::mood::wishing
::music::Blame It On The Tetons, from the album Good News for People Who Love Bad News by Modest Mouse

I have to apologize for the way _______ treated you the other day.

I've been enjoying what I've been able to catch of the Tommy Nelson series. But the discussion after last week's episode somehow evolved into a full-scale rehashing of old, worn-out, overused, Christian terminology. And as I sat there, I didn't really see where it was going. I didn't really want to get involved.

But then you asked your question; a very real and provoking question, one that I expect few people in that room have ever wrestled with, much less thought about.

I can't say I know where that came from, or what you've been through, or where you were going with it. But I take it at face value. And I heard genuineness.

What followed was gross. Most who replied seemed to ignore the whole point of the question, reverting back to their glossy presuppositions that keep them comfy warm at night. They attacked the very basis of the question in sarcasm and went on to throw out more religious jargon, verbiage that does noone a bit of good.

And I'm sorry.

I heard a real question. Then I heard a wash of bullshit that had little to do with reality.

And as one who's made myself a part of the class group, I take responsibility for that. As a whole, we rejected the questioning attitude, as well as the person behind the questioning; we rejected you.

On one hand, I hope that you weren't alienated by it; I'd hate for false, flaky christianity to get in the way of a search for true spirituality. On the other hand, I hope you were; sometimes you just have to realize where you're not going to find any answers.

I often think that the greatest people, the greatest minds of all time, were made that way by hard questions. And gritty determination to face the questions until they were resolved.

I personally hate conflict, of any kind. But god knows life is full of it. And I try not to back down when it comes my way. So I've learned a few things. And accepted that some things just don't make sense.

But a lot of things still piss me off. Especially stuff like this.

I hope you're able to continue your honest questioning. And I hope it pays off for you.

Realization

2007-08-25T10:06:00.000-05:00


Have you ever been away
  so long?
Have you ever managed
 to forget?
Haver you ever pushed the
    thoughts away?
Only to...

In one bursting moment
   of realization,
One flood of memories
   coming back,
One stinging slap
   of reminisce,
Realize who you're meant
      to be.


Have you ever hated where
       you are?
Have you ever wished you're
   someone else?
Have you ever given up
        on life?
Only to...

In one bursting moment
   of realization,
One flood of memories
   coming back,
One stinging slap
   of reminisce,
Realize when you're meant
       to be.


I've been to places I didn't want
  to go,
I've worked at tasks I'd
   never planned;
I've seen the dark side of life
          on hold,
Only to...

One more day at the grindstone...
One more night of sleep cut short...
Give me life beyond this mess...
Give me something; something more!


In one bursting moment
   of realization,
One flood of memories
   coming back,
One stinging slap
   of reminisce,
I realize that I'm meant
             to be.

Work in Progress

2007-08-15T19:32:00.000-05:00

::mood::meticulous
::music::Passacaglia, by T. Nielsen as performed by Aarhus Symphony Orchestra

Wherein the Writer Documents the Pathway He Has Taken On His Quest For the Truth

You must understand that this writer has made every attempt to set aside all pretensions, all allegiances, all preconceived ideas… in order to begin this quest with nothing short of a clean slate for that segment of his mind where once he thought he knew what the last word on this subject was, namely, ... However, it is a truth that the truly wise man is only made wise by understanding the fact that he knows very little.

Recently, it has been brought to my attention how very little I do indeed know about this subject, and how much research, writing, and debate has occurred, both informed and not so well informed, for years on end. I do not attempt to absorb the whole body of knowledge accumulated by scholars and theologians, alike. I cannot; and I will not, for sake of time. And that being the case, I dare not approach to render a verdict and prove all but one platform to be wrong, just so that I might have the satisfaction of standing absolute and unerring. Such satisfaction would must needs come at the sacrifice of true wisdom; for not only would I flaunt my ignorance, but also render my very own ‘infallible’ verdict compromised, and foundering: hardly the concrete manifestation of brilliance first sought.

I seek, therefore, to search out what most matters. To read and assimilate the anchors of this argument. And to commune with Jesus Christ, as revealed in His written word, and living within myself, to come to a point of resolution for my personal life standard.

This issue needs not be expounded upon regarding the volatility, or significance of its nature. As of yet, I do not know what the outcome will be, nor how cogent the arguments will appear. I cannot say that what I conclude will be a conclusion to police the entire world. But, all things considered, I do know that what must occur is that I must embark on this journey so that I might live well, without compromise, without apology, and most importantly, for a reason.

That Reason is why I press forward. Come with me…

Word of the Day

2007-08-15T15:29:00.000-05:00

::mood::bias overload
::music::La cathédrale engloutie, by Claude Debussy, from the album senior recital.10.12.02

dis·a·buse

verb
1. to free (a person) from deception or error.

Example:
"Some familiarity with linguistic science is necessary to disabuse ourselves of the idea that if a word means something now it necessarily meant the same thing at another time and place." S. Reynolds, The Biblical Approach to Alcohol

To A Friend

2007-08-06T13:24:00.000-05:00

Is it strange that I feel no great sense of grief?
or wallowing sense of despair?
At first I did feel a twinge of conviction
that I was sitting all comfortable
and enjoying a good time
with good friends.
But then the reminder came:
that he's so much more alive now than ever,
that he'd want nothing other
than for us to toast his homecoming.

We were close, he and I;
but not the kind of close you might normally imagine.
So alike, yet so different.
We came from different worlds;
perhaps even the epitome of contrasts:
northern, and southern
black, and white
classical, and jazz
humorous, and serious

And the times we shared,
were real fun, but not the fun you have
and then forget, lost in the wash of random memory.
We did stuff...and went places;
but not the typical kind of stuff
and the ordinary kinds of places that people go.

When it comes down to it,
we inspired each other.
You, me; and I, you, I believe.
To do greater things, more things, better things...
...new things.
And to think new ideas.

But now that time has passed,
and the last meeting we shared
was yet again a revelation, one to the other,
I'm not going to say we stayed close.

The contrast of lives bore true,
you going your way,
and I mine.
But not so different were we.
For in each of our ways,
we did seek the freedom of new horizons.
Finding the reality of life
and the bondage of commitment.

I think that if you'd come home,
we'd have met up yet again.
And inspired each other,
challenging ideas.

But now, I'm afraid,
the inspiration is all mine;
the challenge is to me;
the betterment of this world
is a task for me to carry on.

Your potential was undoubted,
and, at first glance, cut so short.
But the new idea thrust upon me in that moment
was one of destiny:
you lived.
every moment.
and not one more.
never missing a chance.

So I'll laugh, I'll love, I'll jam out every note of life's score
and every once in a while,
perhaps more often than not,
break out in improv,
just for the hell of it.

And never forgetting the cliche-less sacrifice,
I'll press on towards the next horizon.

Word of the Day

2007-08-05T12:41:00.000-05:00

::mood::ignorant
::music::ticket to heaven by 3 doors down from the album away from the sun

il·la·tion

noun
Etymology: Late Latin illation-, illatio, from Latin, action of bringing in, from inferre (past participle illatus) to bring in, from in- + ferre to carry

1 : the action of inferring : INFERENCE
2 : a conclusion inferred

My New Hero

2007-08-04T14:24:00.000-05:00

The Internal Revenue Service has lost a lawyer's challenge in front of a jury to prove a constitutional foundation for the nation's income tax, and the victorious attorney now is setting his sights higher.
He said the free exchange of labor for compensation has been upheld as a right by the Supreme Court, but that doesn't necessarily make the compensation income.
If ever such an argument were to be presented widely, Cryer said, the income to the federal government would plummet. But not to worry, he said, the expenses could be reduced equally by eliminating programs, departments and agencies that also have no foundation in the Constitution.
"The Founding Fathers intentionally restricted the taxing powers of the new federal government as a measure of restraint on its size. By exceeding that limited taxing authority the federal government has been able to obtain resources beyond its intended reach, and that money has enabled the federal government to exceed its authority," he said.

Frisbee Golf...and Other Diversions

2007-08-01T13:25:00.001-05:00

Once upon a lazy Saturday afternoon...some friends went to the park...

...where at first they just stood around,

...and poked fun at each other.

Then stood around some more...

...before actually deciding to play frisbee golf.

Which they did.

With some lovely diversions. Like exploring an underground tunnel. (After all, where would a tunnel be, but underground?)

So they captured the moment...or tried...there wasn't much light in that concrete tube.

And they captured some graffiti to take with them from that place.

Another diversion they embarked upon was to explore the pirate's cove.
How do I know it's a pirates cove, you ask? Look closely...see that hunk of steel?

Apparently a pirate's ship ran aground in these waters, and was battered to smitherenes by the waves. Many years ago. And this solitary canon from the poop deck, still sticking above the water, stands as witness.

Some of them decided to climb trees. But the trees liked to bite. But only on the way down. Maybe they were lonely trees, and didn't want their welcome company to leave.

These friends hung out. And they chilled. And they rocked that park. And feeling the inspiration of all of the above, they decided to take some inspiring pictures.

Well, maybe this one's not inspiring. More, hopeful? Or maybe just despondent.

OK. Definitely hopeful.

Some may not be able to Drive. Some may not be able to Vote. But we can all Change the World, in our own Little Way.

Then, feeling so full of inspiration, they felt the need to fill themselves with food. And this they did.

All sorts of food.

**Um, who let this picture in here? It's killin' my groove! Please, TAKE IT OUT!!!**

Ah, now that's groovin'!

The End.

Word of the Day

2007-07-28T08:54:00.000-05:00

::mood::cogency
::music::jumpin' jack by big bad voodoo daddy from their self-titled album

co·gen·cy

noun
1. having power to compel or constrain <cogent forces>
2. compelling, convincing, appealing forcibly to the mind or reason

Example:
"Whether I am successful or not, of course, depends on the cogency of my scriptural arguments." K. Gentry, God Gave Wine

Again.

2007-07-25T13:17:00.000-05:00

::mood::solitary
::music::The Water Is Wide by Charlotte Church, from the album Enchantment

The wheel fell off the truck I was driving today.

That's right. The. Wheel. Fell. Off.

Or, broke off, more like it. The front right one. And the truck/trailer blocked traffic for two hours before the tow truck arrived.

The funny thing is (and I do mean funny), the owner of the truck just laughed when I called him up to notify him of this misfortune!

What? You say that I got it wrong? because that's the front left wheel?

No, I did not mirror image the photo. That's the original. From last time. Last year about this time. July 10th, 2006, to be exact.

That's right. The wheel broke off the truck I was driving today. Again.

Back luck? Maybe. But I've never been a very unlucky person.

Then again, I've never had allergies either.

"Is it okay?"

2007-07-05T16:47:00.000-05:00

Is it okay,
to feel so disconnected
and think it doesn't apply to me
to be so far away in thought
and miss all that is said
is it okay?

Is it okay,
to question the meaning of life
and ponder the pleasures of death
to long to be free of this earth
and still want to 'live large' while I'm here
Is it okay?

Is it okay,
to be a hardened cynic
and moreso every day
to wake up to find yourself
and not the self you planned on being
to reel in horror at who you've become
and yet, unable to find it in you to care
Is it okay?

Is it okay,
to leave the pages of your journal blank
and not write a single word
after those six fateful words
"most wonderful woman i've ever met"
grace the last-used page
is it okay?

Is it okay,
to be addicted to numbing pain
and try to hide from hurt
to finding it easier to leave off thought
and favor the blank slate of a drugged mind
is it okay?

Is it okay,
to, upon looking around
and seeing nothing but complete happiness,
to pin on my innane smile
and eke out that sneering congratulations
is it okay?

Is it okay,
to be so neutral
and argue both sides of the fence
to live as if there is no conflict
and be at peace with the turmoil within
is it okay?

Is it okay,
to burn with passion and drive
and just spend another day at 'the grind'
to lust for heaven's fulfillment
and just drink that one more cup of coffee
is it okay?

Is it okay,
to be ready to defy sleep
and know at the same time
that come another night
and i'll succumb...to sleep...and wretched refreshment
is it okay?

Is it okay,
to wonder what holds me back
and know that guilty giant
to commit such a crime
can only be me alone
is it okay?

Is it okay
to push all imagination aside
and favor only what i know
to know what it is i want
and want only what i know
to believe that spirits do exist
and seek them only in a glass
is it okay?

Is it okay,
to see a ray of light
and rush to embrace it
to love to see joy
and gather laughter around
to have them both elude you
and wonder what they can feel like
is it okay?

Is it okay,
to believe that there is only one white
and sort through ten different shades
Is it okay?

Is it okay,
to feel the pages of my memory
rustle with the hint of
what once was
what could be
what lies miles away
too far outside my reach
is it okay?

Quote[s] of the Day

2007-06-27T16:33:00.000-05:00

::mood::studious
::music::Sarasate Zigeunerweisen, Op.20, played by Joshua Bell & Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, from the album Essential Joshua Bell

Liberty exists in proportion to wholesome restraint.
- Daniel Webster

Freedom exists in proportion to self-discipline.
- JML

Who then is free? The wise man who can govern himself.
- Horace

He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought
will never be able to change reality,
and will never, therefore,
make any progress.
- Anwar Sadat

Quote of the Day

2007-06-26T15:10:00.000-05:00

::book::the scarlet letter

"Believe me, Hester,

there are few things - whether in the outward world,
or, to a certain depth, in the invisible
sphere of thought - few things hidden

from the man who devotes himself earnestly

and unreservedly

to the solution of a mystery."

-roger chillingworth

to steves

2007-06-23T22:24:00.000-05:00

::mood::caffeinated
::movie::the scarlet letter

Soundly sleeping
though I rouse him
he does not awake

No greater
bliss of oblivion
the world is at peace

How beautiful
a thing it is
a sleeping child.

unWord of the Day

2007-06-15T16:33:00.001-05:00

::mood::thirsty
::music::a fan

Being referred here by a thread on Good Grammar is Hot, I couldn't help but laugh. And pass a few on.

Enjoy!

SEARCH -- Quasi-anachronism. Placed on one-year moratorium.

"Might as well banish it. The word has been replaced by 'google.'" -- Michael Raczko, Swanton, Ohio.

HEALTHY FOOD -- Point of view is everything.

Someone told Joy Wiltzius of Fort Collins, Colorado, that the tuna steak she had for lunch "sounded healthy." Her reply: "If my lunch were healthy, it would still be swimming somewhere. Grilled and nestled in salad greens, it's 'healthful.'"

Once upon a muggy evening...

2007-06-10T22:22:00.000-05:00

::mood::it's a new week
::music::bicycle exotica, by michel banabila, from the album Traces

"I've always had a fascination with walking downtown, and bridges,"

he said, as we took off across the parking lot. We were off to just sit. And talk. About nothing in particular.

"And it's not exactly like we have much to be worried about," I commented, "the two of us buff guys walking around like this!"

We chuckled to ourselves at the vain irony of my statement; and we proceeded to climb up the concrete embankment that you always see leading up to the overpass bridges when you drive by, but never take the time to stop and explore, even though you always wanted to.

"I don't know what it is, but when you sit here, everything is different. I mean, when you're driving, you don't notice it, but the road really is BIG! It just has a way of putting it all into perspective."

So, we sat there. And talked. And trucks drove by and stirred up the still night air for us. And fast bikes zipped past with their passengers clinging to each other in the thrill of speed, making each of us just a teeny bit jealous. And the sun set. And it got dusky. And we kept talking.

About nothing in particular, and about everything. Cause that's what friends do. They keep up with the nothing and the everything. And they spend time together. Cause that's really what it's about, the whole accountability thing.

It keeps things in perspective.

Quote of the Day

2007-06-10T15:04:00.000-05:00

::mood::hydrated
::music::Piano Sonata no. 2, Op. 35 ('Funeral March') in B-flat minor - Marche funebre by Frédéric Chopin, from the album The Rubinstein Collection - Volume 46

As much of a perogative as it is for a woman to change her mind,
it is equally so, for a man, to not speak his.

6 Simple Strategies for Achieving Misery

2007-06-06T15:22:00.000-05:00

The sobering fact is that serenity and joy are natural states for us all. Fear not. practiced regularly, these strategies vastly improve our odds of attaining despair.
by Sol Herzig, Ph.D.

Many people innocently believe that all they have to do is sit back, coast through life, and misery will come to them. Nothing could be further from the truth! The sobering fact is that serenity and joy are natural states for us all. Just observe a child at play, yourself on a favorite vacation, or anyone absorbed in creative activity. As our minds clear of clutter and negative thinking, a profound sense of peace and contentment often emerges. Does this mean there's no hope? Absolutely not! The strategies outlined below, practiced regularly, vastly improve our odds of achieving misery.

1. CLING TO ENTITLEMENT

You are perfectly entitled to feelings of entitlement. It is your birthright to expect unfailing attention, loyalty, respect, and subservience from others. Contemplate the inherent, self-evident unfairness of anyone having something you want. Strive to see compromise, accommodation, patience, and responsibility, as somehow relevant only to "the other guy." In general, be aware that life owes you and that you were put on this planet to collect.

2. IT'S ALL PERSONAL

Malicious intent is always present if you just look carefully enough. This is particularly true regarding family members. Suppose your spouse overlooks one of your preferences. Seize the opportunity to view this as conclusive proof that you don't really matter to them and probably never have. If your children dawdle at bedtime, see them as viciously spiteful and yourself as a sorry excuse for a parent. It's really very simple. Ignore nothing, and always assume evil intent. Remember, if you don't take things personally no one will do it for you.

3. FOCUS ON PROBLEMS

There is really very little sense in having problems if you don't focus on them. It's crucial therefore to keep careful track of all your problems and constantly review them. Nurture the attitude that you can't really move on to anything unless everything is resolved first. Remember also that there is no solution without a problem, if you look closely enough. Always resist the temptation to ponder where problems go when you don't think about them.

4. MAGNIFY

Too often people cheat themselves out of misery by maintaining perspective. This is both needless as well as extremely counter productive. Why would anyone ever want to think of themselves as "just human" when "fatally flawed" and "irredeemably warped" are available? Similarly, when recalling past mistakes, why stop at instructive regret when paralyzing guilt is within reach? Sure it requires a bit of effort, but the payoff can be enormous. Just imagine the benefits of eventually believing that your negative thinking actually reflects reality.

5. EXPECT CATASTROPHE

It is critical to remember that really terrible things can occur at any moment. Let's start with the body. Begin by paying close attention to changes in bodily sensation, no matter how trivial. Next, let your imagination run wild. Anything involving flesh-eating bacteria or intestinal parasites will usually do the trick. People sometimes protest that their bodies feel perfectly fine. Not to worry! Think "Silent Killers." Feeling perfectly fine places you squarely at risk for these. Of course, there is no reason to stop at personal health issues. The range of potential catastrophe is vast. For example, there are suitcase bombs, encroaching asteroids, global recession, pandemics, killer bees, and so on. Simply use your imagination to craft a realistic sense of impending doom. Savor the pride you'll feel on your death bed knowing that nothing ever caught you by surprise.

6. JUST SAY "NO THANKS" TO GRATITUDE

Gratitude is to misery what Kryptonite is to Superman. All the hard work you've invested in misery will go down the drain if you start fiddling around with gratitude. A zero tolerance policy is very much in order. This is very challenging, however, as life runs rampant with opportunities for gratefulness. Begin, therefore, by thoroughly discounting all the good in your life as a "given." Next, focus your mind on the many ways in which life continues to disappoint you. At an advanced level, you can even learn to see the bad in the good. For instance, should you get a big raise you could immediately focus on the tax implications. Eliminate gratitude from your life and misery will be right around the corner.

A final word. The beauty of misery is that the more you share it with others, the more you wind up having. So share generously. After all, misery loves company.

This article can also be read at: http://www.aish.com/jewlariousFeatures/jewlariousFeaturesDefault/Six_Simple_Strategies_for_Achieving_Misery.asp

Quote of the Day

2007-06-04T10:30:00.000-05:00

::mood::studious
::reading::the ragamuffin gospel by brennan manning

When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes.
I believe and I doubt,
I hope and get discouraged,
I love and I hate,
I feel bad about feeling good,
I feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
I am trusting and suspicious.
I am honest and I still play games.

Aristotle said I am a rational animal;
I say I am an angel
with an incredible
capacity for beer.

- p.26.4

Saturday

2007-05-19T11:31:00.000-05:00

::mood::uberchill
::music::boston, from the album all the stars and boulevards by augustana

i think it is good for a person
to spend a saturday morning alone
with some good tunes
and a cup of coffee
...at least once a week!

It's water under the bridge...

2007-05-13T15:07:00.000-05:00

::mood::sore throatish
::book::blue like jazz, by donald miller

I went to the 31st street river park last night. I went there to read, technically. But really I went there to experience all that is the spirit of the Arkansas River. Mostly it isn't that big of a deal any more. One can usually see most of the riverbed. There's quite a bit of trash laying around. And it's really not a very safe place at night.

But we've had a lot of rain recently. And rain has to go somewhere. So it flows downhill, into the storm sewers, and into creeks, and rushes down and out to the river. From thousands upon thousands of acres. And all those millions of gallons of water, from all those thousands of square miles end up right here, running through the Arkansas Riverbed, right in front of my eyes.

I'm pretty sure this is the most full I have ever seen it in all of my life.

And so, I have this theory: the water in that riverbed is like a magnet; however much of it there is, is proportionate to the amount of draw it has on the city life. Because yesterday, there were a ton of people there at the river. People just like me. If you asked them, they might tell you that they came to the river park to take a walk, or to ride their bike, or to look cool, or to walk their dog, or to look cool walking their dog. But, as one of the masses, I think I know better. They really...WE really, all just came out to experience all that is the spirit of the Arkansas River. And all that is the height of the glory of the spirit of the River. Cause we all felt the magnetic draw. And we don't know when we'll be feeling it again. Kinda like these skater punks.

They were looking cool, doing their stunts and showing off. But I happened to overhear one of them saying, "Dude, this is boring. There's nothing going on. Lets, like, go somewhere. Or something." And so, some people like them ended up leaving their mark. They must have been bored, too. Probably they were on their way somewhere else, too.

There was a great big bumblebee buzzing around these flowers as I sat nearby. He would settle on one for a few seconds, then buzz off to another. But when I came over to take his picture, he got scared of me and flew away. So I just got a picture of the flower to remember him.

So maybe it isn't really a magnetic draw. Maybe it was the Full Moon Run going on all evening. Maybe it was the promise of concerts and movies and community events that were scheduled all day long along the riverside. Maybe it was the sunshine after two weeks of solid rain that had people itching to get out and breath some fresh, clean oxygen.

But there you have it, the rain again, and the runoff, and the gallons of water, and the overfull river, and the magnetic draw, and the collection of people and social events, which in itself is a draw, being as that we are 'herd animals' naturally.

At least, it sounds more cool that way; a bit more romantically alluring, if you will. And I like it better that way.

No respect

2007-05-12T12:07:00.000-05:00

::mood::tiiiired
::music::Lame Sonore, from the album Playing on the Edge by Natalia Paruz, a.k.a. The Saw Lady

Text Sent - May 11, 07 (Fri) 11:57pm: Guess what!!!

Text Received - May 11, 07 (Fri) 11:55m: What

Sent 11:59pm: Norah Jones coming to tulsa!!!!!! YeeaaaaaaHHHH!!

Received 11:57pm: I dont care

Sent 11:59pm: Guess what again

Received 11:59pm: U got tiks

Sent 12:01am: It's sold out. Two tickets together are going on ebay for $260 :(:(:(:(:(:(:(

Received 12:00am: Oh

Sent 12:03am: You. Are. Pathetic. I dont get no respect. Remind me of your response next time you want me to go to a concert with you! Gosh.

Received 12:02am: Love ya.

Sent 12:04am: Gnight

Received 12:08am: Ok

iABC

2007-05-08T19:35:00.000-05:00

::mood::geeky
::music::sinkin' soon, from the album not too late, by norah jones

I am fully aware that the following makes absolutely no sense to 99% of the English-speaking population. Or any-other-language-speaking population, for that matter.

But the fact that I can read it, makes me proud.

And the fact that I not only can read it, but am the one who wrote the following gibberish, makes me positively giddy.

And, there you have it: tho I normally keep the expose thereof hidden from public view, I am a geek.

=}

X:1
T:Run To Jesus
M:4/4
L:1/4
C:by Me
P:Verse
K:D
"D"A3 AA2 F2 |"G"GA2([FD]"D"[F3D3])A,|"D"A3 A A2F2|"G"[D6B,6]A,2|
"D"A3 AA2 F2 |"G"GA2([FD]"D"[F3D3])A,|"G"B,2B,2C2D2|"A"[E6C6]|
D2|"Dsus"[E3D3]F"D"([F4D4]|[F2D2])EF"F#min"[F3C3]C|[C6A,6]
C2|"G"B,2 C2B2A2 |"A"[C6A,6]
DE|"Dsus"[E3D3]F"D"([F4D4]|[F2D2])EF"F#min"[F3C3]C|[C6A,6]
C2|"G"B,2C2D2 E2 |"F#Maj"([F8C8^A,8] |[F4C4^A,4])|
P:Chorus
A, A,A,|"Dsus"(E3F)"D"[F2D2]A,2|"Dsus"(E3F)"D"[F3D3]|
A,|"Bmin"[D2F,4] E2 [F2B,4] A,2|"G"[B,6G,6] |
A,-A,|"Dsus"(E3F)"D"[F2D2]A,2|"Dsus"(E3F)"D"[F3D3]|
A,|"Bmin"B,2C2 [D2B,2] ED |"Bm/G"[D8F,8]|"G/D"[D8G,8]|"D"[D8A,8]|

[Excellent] Quote of the Day

2007-05-03T09:54:00.000-05:00

::mood::i want a muffin
::music::Black Crow, from the album The Girl In The Other Room by Diana Krall

"Take this rule:
whatever weakens your reason,
impairs the tenderness of your conscience,
obscures your sense of God,
or takes off your relish of spiritual things;
in short, whatever increases the strength
and authority of your body
over your mind,
that thing is sin to you,
however innocent it may be in itself."

— Susanna Wesley

No, thank you.

2007-05-01T19:25:00.000-05:00

::time/date::May 1st, 2007, 7:25 pm

RRRRRINGGG!!!

ME: [Looking at caller ID, sees "UNKNOWN NAME, UNKNOWN NUMBER". Decides to take the call for the family.] Hello...

TELEMARKETER: Hello, how are you today?

ME: I'm fine, thanks. And how are you?

TM: I'm doing great. I'm calling to let you know that our records show that your vehicle is nearing the 80,000 mile mark and you have not yet taken advantage of any of the benefits of the manufacturer warranty. Now, we understand that this is important to you especially as your car ages and we'd like to talk to you about an extended warranty that will be able to pick up right where the manufacturer warranty leaves off so that you have no break in your total vehicle coverage for any types of breakdowns or repairs...

ME: [Would like to interject and try to figure out exactly who this guy is. But, he keeps going...no breaks.]

TM:...as you know, maintaining your vehicle can be time consuming and very costly, so we'd like to get you set up with this additional coverage to keep you from being hit with hundreds of thousands of dollars in repair costs. Now if we can just confirm the current mileage and model of your vehicle so that I can give you an exact quote on this extended warranty for you.

ME: [Finally! A break for me to talk!] Who exactly did you say you were with?

TM: Yeah, it's the Motor Vehicle Protection Corporation. We, um, uh, work with all the major vehicle manufacturers, um, uh, to, uh, provide additional coverage for their customers once their original warranty expires.

ME: [Quickly jumps in before he has a chance to say another word.] And how exactly did you get this number?

TM: [Stutters, spurts, restarts] We have a database. Uh, we work with, uh, um, all the major manufacturers to offer coverage to all their customers listed in their databases so that we can be sure that you wont be hit with any big repairs. We just want to offer this to you and...blah blah blah...

ME: [Officially over the common courtesy thing, interrupts] I understand you got this number from a database. What is this database, though? How did you get this number?

ME: [Pauses just long enough to give this TM the hint of an idea that he had the chance to open his mouth again]

ME: [Continues] Let me just ask you this: Which one of my vehicles were you inquiring about?

TM: [Without pausing or stuttering this time] The ford.

ME: Really? [Inserts another deceiving pause] Because I neither have a Ford, nor are any of my vehicles anywhere near the 80,000 mile mark. So, to my knowledge this call is in violation of the National Do Not Call List, in which this number is registered.

TM: [Sputtering and stammering again] Well, um, uh, you mean to say this isn't the Smith residence?

ME: Um...NO!!!

TM: Well, I'm sorry then, we must have the wrong number. You have a great evening.

ME: Wait a minute, not so fast. Again, what did you say the name of your company was?

TM: Um, the Motor Vehicle Protection Corporation.

ME: [Quickly scribbles the name down] Fine. Well, you-be-sure-to-take-this-number-off-of-your-list-
-I-do-not-want-to-hear-from-you-again-CLICK.

Go ahead. Google it. There's no such company.

Yes, I reported them.

Ford. Smith. My big toe.

Kids' Use of Earbuds Worries Hearing Experts

2007-04-30T12:25:00.000-05:00

::mood::driving
::music::Your Health, A Podcast That's Good For Your Body, by NPR

Ironic, isn't it? that I'm listening to this podcast through, ...you guessed it..., my earbuds.

Listen to some more here.

Pearls Before Breakfast

2007-04-23T21:04:00.000-05:00

::mood::fascinated
::music::Joshua Bell

HE EMERGED FROM THE METRO AT THE L'ENFANT PLAZA STATION AND POSITIONED HIMSELF AGAINST A WALL BESIDE A TRASH BASKET. By most measures, he was nondescript: a youngish white man in jeans, a long-sleeved T-shirt and a Washington Nationals baseball cap. From a small case, he removed a violin. Placing the open case at his feet, he shrewdly threw in a few dollars and pocket change as seed money, swiveled it to face pedestrian traffic, and began to play.

It was 7:51 a.m. on Friday, January 12, the middle of the morning rush hour. In the next 43 minutes, as the violinist performed six classical pieces, 1,097 people passed by. Almost all of them were on the way to work, which meant, for almost all of them, a government job. L'Enfant Plaza is at the nucleus of federal Washington, and these were mostly mid-level bureaucrats with those indeterminate, oddly fungible titles: policy analyst, project manager, budget officer, specialist, facilitator, consultant.

Each passerby had a quick choice to make, one familiar to commuters in any urban area where the occasional street performer is part of the cityscape: Do you stop and listen? Do you hurry past with a blend of guilt and irritation, aware of your cupidity but annoyed by the unbidden demand on your time and your wallet? Do you throw in a buck, just to be polite? Does your decision change if he's really bad? What if he's really good? Do you have time for beauty? Shouldn't you? What's the moral mathematics of the moment?

On that Friday in January, those private questions would be answered in an unusually public way. No one knew it, but the fiddler standing against a bare wall outside the Metro in an indoor arcade at the top of the escalators was one of the finest classical musicians in the world, playing some of the most elegant music ever written on one of the most valuable violins ever made.

His performance was arranged by The Washington Post as an experiment in context, perception and priorities -- as well as an unblinking assessment of public taste:
In a banal setting at an inconvenient time, would beauty transcend?

Keep reading... http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html ...you can watch, too.

Dear God...

2007-04-21T17:43:00.000-05:00

The decisions you make today,

create the reality you live in tomorrow.

Don't blame God for your mistakes.

Quote of the Day

2007-04-20T11:04:00.000-05:00

::mood::i want a muffin
::music::Black Crow, from the album The Girl In The Other Room by Diana Krall

"I think everyone should go to college
and get a degree
and then spend six months as a bartender
and six months as a cabdriver.

Then they would really be educated."

- Al McGuire

Word of the Day

2007-04-19T17:19:00.000-05:00

::mood::chafed
::music:://my ipod is dead//

ne·ol·o·gism

noun
1. a newly invented word or phrase
2. the act of inventing a word or phrase

What has the world come to? when I rely on a foreigner to teach me my own language?!?

Beautamous Weather!

2007-04-16T15:31:00.000-05:00

::mood::slightly riled up
::music::world, from the album two lights by five for fighting

A few pictures from this past weekend.

The sun was shining..

...there were pretty flowers everywhere...

...the air was cool and crisp...

...and it just felt good to be outside...

...to look around...

...to take a picture or two...

...and just enjoy the day!

So, I did.

=}

For what it's worth...

2007-04-13T10:15:00.000-05:00

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort.

You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it.

You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself.

Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

Bachelor Supreme

2007-04-10T13:45:00.000-05:00

::mood::apple juice
::music::We Didn't Start the Fire, from The Essential Billy Joel (Disc 2)

ASSISTANT MANAGER 'MEL': (speaking of a brownie that he is sinking his teeth into) "Wow! These are really good! Did your wife make them?"

ME: (feeling no-so-slightly insulted) "No. I'm not married."

AMM: (after another bite) "You bought 'em?"

ME: (insultedness turning into pride) "Nope! Made 'em myself."

AMM: (turning to Manager 'Susie') "You gotta try these bachelor brownies!"

At least I don't live off of TopRamen all the time!

Campfire

2007-04-08T16:21:00.000-05:00

::mood::comfortable
::music::yes, please

Virtually everything I own smells like smoke. Campfire smoke. Whether I open my bible, play my guitar, do my laundry, or read some more of the book I'm in...it all gives of that no-so-faint reminder of where its been.

Its all 'cause I took those things with me this past weekend. Took them with me to get away. Away where my cell phone was off. Miles away from my computer. And internet. Where my iPod was shut off. And noone else was around to clamber for my concentration.

I got alone.

With God.

I did a lot of reading, and singing, and thinking, and staying by the fire to keep warm. It got me thinking:

As cold as it was out there, there was no way I was going to leave my fire, much less, let it go out. Perhaps for some time, I left to go walk in the sun. But I always came back to tend to the fire; to feed it more wood; and make sure it wasn't going out. It kept me warm, and alive.

I think that's the way it is with life. There's a great big world out there. A cold, and hard, and unforgiving world. A world striving to sap the very last bit of energy from my being. A world trying to stiffen my joints and render me ineffective. But right here, inside me burning, is the fire of Christ living in me. I might not always realize it, but He's there to keep me warm. To keep me useful. To keep me alive.

I've got to realize that, and always keep coming back to His presence. Always dwell in the glow of His warmth so that I'm full of His strength, and passion, and able to live effectively. He's there. I just have to nurture that relationship. And He'll offer all the warmth I can stand.

"'...when I send My four severe judgments against Jerusalem:
sword, famine, wild beasts, and plague
to cut off man and beast from it!
Yet, behold, survivors will be left in it
who will be brought out,
both sons and daughters.

Behold, they are going to come forth to you
and you will see their conduct and actions;
then you will be comforted for the calamity
which I have brought against Jerusalem
for everything which I have brought upon it.

Then they will comfort you
when you see their conduct and actions,
for you will know that I have not done in vain
whatever I did to it,'
declares the Lord God."

Ezekiel 14:21-23, The Bible

A "thinking person's way of life"

2007-04-05T15:41:00.000-05:00

::mood::thinking
::music::The EDGECast 36: Dan Jarrell from Inversion's Winter Summit 2007

I had a conversation a few weeks ago regarding the necessity of the discipline of apologetics for followers of Jesus Christ. At the time, I had voiced my opinion regarding the matter, saying that no, it is neither the basis of our faith nor the effective method of witnessing, yet it still stands as a necessity for a Christ follower; to study and be ready to give an answer; to internally know why it is and how it is and what it is he actually believes.

Today I came across a podcast featuring Dan Jarrell where he succinctly describes exactly what it is I was trying to say then. The following is the excerpt that deals with this. Although, by posting this, I almost place myself in the very category he decries, I believe that my position before, agreeing with this now, which I found while continuing to study on my own, combined with my ongoing desire to search out truth for myself fairly places me in the "thinking person" category.

You'll see what I'm talking about. (WARNING: although it is long, and meaty, it's well worth the read.)

EDGECast: Dan, earlier this weekend you made a comment in passing when someone was asking a question [in which] you stated that you thought that Christianity was a thinking person's mentality; that it is a thinking person's way of life. Can you explain on that a bit? I thought that was really interesting.

Dan Jarrell: Biblical Christianity requires deep thought; personal processing of ideas. And yet, unfortunately, in America particularly, the church has become so institutionalized that we tend to not encourage independent thought. The church isn't nearly as diverse as the biblical picture of the church is, where people are thinking through, they're arguing, they're having conflict over truth, and not separating but coming to some resolution.

In 1954, Harry Blamires wrote a book called The Christian Mind. In that book he stated that you go to any church, it doesn't matter where it is, find someone who agrees with you on a social or moral issue, it could be any issue, and his argument was that Christians are so poor at thinking through what they believe that they could not have a discussion on how to arrive at that conclusion without getting in a fight.

So, what we tend to do is we tend to give that side of our faith away to someone. We find a dynamic leader, who is a systematic thinker, who knows the Bible, and that leader stands up, and he or she says something and we say, "Well that's right!" And that's it. "The Bible said it; I believe it; that settles it." Well, it really doesn't settle anything!

EC: Especially not if we're challenged by somebody who is a non-christian on that topic, and we can't give them a thinking person's answer.

DJ: Yeah, you don't even know how you got there!

And so, how attractive is it to a lost person is it when you say, "You know, why don't you consider biblical Christianity?" And what they believe is, 'Oh, to do that I have to kiss my brains goodbye! I have to give away my individuality. It's not ok to ask questions...'

EC: What's the line, Dan? "Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and mind." I think we generally just skip over that last part.

DJ: That's right. But yet, if you look at the scripture, truth is everything about life. Jesus came to embody the truth; to show us what the truth was; to help us struggle to learn that, and know that. And the renewing of our minds is how that happens.

It isn't ONLY about the mind. But we can't just give that away. And I feel like if individual followers of Jesus Christ in the country would begin to go back and say, "Do I really believe what I say I believe?" that it would radically change our experience with one another and our experience with God. Our trust for one another would go up. Our appreciation of one another. We'd stretch each other more.

We don't have to agree. Unity and unanimity are not the same thing. In fact, if everybody's unanimous, you don't even know if there's unity, because everybody agrees! Really, unity exists in the context of disagreement and submission to a greater goal.

EC: Do you think there is a direct correlation between the fact that we are not thinking as Christians in America and the fact that the church is losing ground? Whereas around the world it is really growing in huge numbers in Asia and Afica and other places?"

DJ: I don't know how big of a connection [there is]. Well, I don't know about the world. Now I do think one of the reasons that the Christian faith is less attractive to an emerging mindset in the US is because it's not well thought through. And when it's not well thought through, it's not well applied. You know, the mosaic generation is not looking to [say], "OK, explain it all to me in detail." But they are saying, "Does it work??"

Fellowship [Bible Church], which I love, I was here for 12 years, is a Bible church. It came into being during the time when we were embracing an academic model of spirituality. The church across the nation was a kind of knowledge broker. The concept was that if you know the Bible, then you'll walk with God. But the Bible was never given to us just to be understood academically. It was given to us to be lived and experienced. You cannot do that without processing the thought.

If you just stop to think, you find humor in the person of Christ and incredible irony in the things He says. And a depth and substance in His stories that are remarkable. And that's tasty! It's tasty to me. It's tasty to anybody. Because they see substance there.

20:05-25:29

For more info:
theedgecast.org
changepointalaska.com
inversionlr.com

Quote of the Day

2007-04-04T11:29:00.000-05:00

::mood::planning
::music::Indiana, by Jon McLaughlin

"One today
is worth two tomorrows."

- benjamin franklin

I Am John Doe

2007-03-30T13:22:00.000-05:00

::mood::heading out
::music::boston, from the album all the stars and boulevards by augustana

The John Doe Manifesto
By Michelle Malkin, CNSNews.com Commentary -
www.cnsnews.com/ViewCommentary.asp?Page=/Commentary/archive/200703/COM20070328a.html
March 28, 2007

Note: Earlier this month, six publicity-seeking imams filed a federal lawsuit against US Airways and the Metropolitan Airports Commission in Minneapolis/St. Paul. The Muslim clerics were removed from their flight last November and questioned for several hours after their suspicious behavior alarmed both passengers and crew members.

Minneapolis Star Tribune columnist Katherine Kersten reported last week that the imams, advised by the grievance-mongers at the Council on American-Islamic Relations, also plan to sue "John Does" -- innocent bystanders who alerted the authorities about their security concerns.

Rep. Steve Pearce, R-N.M., has introduced legislation to protect John Does who report suspicious behavior from legal liability. The Becket Fund for Religious Liberty; talk show host Michael Reagan; Dr. Zuhdi Jasser, who heads the American Islamic Forum for Democracy; and Minnesota lawyer Gerry Nolting have all stepped forward to offer free representation to the imams' targets

Dear Muslim Terrorist Plotter/Planner/Funder/Enabler/Apologist,

You do not know me. But I am on the lookout for you. You are my enemy. And I am yours.

I am John Doe.

I am traveling on your plane. I am riding on your train. I am at your bus stop. I am on your street. I am in your subway car. I am on your lift.

I am your neighbor. I am your customer. I am your classmate. I am your boss.

I am John Doe.

I will never forget the example of the passengers of United Airlines Flight 93 who refused to sit back on 9/11 and let themselves be murdered in the name of Islam without a fight.

I will never forget the passengers and crew members who tackled al Qaeda shoe-bomber Richard Reid on American Airlines Flight 63 before he had a chance to blow up the plane over the Atlantic Ocean.

I will never forget the alertness of actor James Woods, who notified a stewardess that several Arab men sitting in his first-class cabin on an August 2001 flight were behaving strangely. The men turned out to be 9/11 hijackers on a test run.

I will act when homeland security officials ask me to "report suspicious activity."

I will embrace my local police department's admonition: "If you see something, say something."

I am John Doe.

I will protest your Jew-hating, America-bashing "scholars."

I will petition against your hate-mongering mosque leaders.

I will raise my voice against your subjugation of women and religious minorities.

I will challenge your attempts to indoctrinate my children in our schools.

I will combat your violent propaganda on the Internet.

I am John Doe.

I will support law enforcement initiatives to spy on your operatives, cut off your funding and disrupt your murderous conspiracies.

I will oppose all attempts to undermine our borders and immigration laws.

I will resist the imposition of sharia principles and sharia law in my taxi cab, my restaurant, my community pool, the halls of Congress, our national monuments, the radio and television airwaves, and all public spaces.

I will not be censored in the name of tolerance.

I will not be cowed by your Beltway lobbying groups in moderates' clothing. I will not cringe when you shriek about "profiling" or "Islamophobia."

I will put my family's safety above sensitivity. I will put my country above multiculturalism.

I will not submit to your will. I will not be intimidated.

I am John Doe.

To Go or Say No

2007-03-25T21:05:00.000-05:00

::mood::in pain
::music::Low, from the album X&Y by Coldplay

You see the world in black and white
But paint it white
You see no meaning to your life
You should try
You should try

i was reminded today of how far above mans ways are God's.

on one hand, i have the goal of 'getting my life in order', of becoming more organized, effective, efficient, productive. in short, i'm trying to plan ahead more often.

but then, on the other hand, God's only gives light to my feet, showing me the next step of the way. as brad illustrated tonight, we want a map, all googled out and ready to go, we want to know where we're going, why we're going there, and how we're going to get there, and when.

But all too often, the way God works is to give us a compass, not a map. He gives us coordinates, and says, follow My leading. Just Go!

but we sit here and program ourselves that the keyword is "NO". we feel way more comfortable to try and plan it all out. take things into our own control.

the mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps, Proverbs says.

Paul had a plan to go into Asia to preach. He ended up in Lystra, where he met Timothy, who joined him in his renewed plan to proceed to asia. but they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. and after they came to Mysia, they were trying to go into Bithynia, and the Spirit of Jesus did not permit them;
and passing by Mysia, they came down to Troas.

and finally? after all that? A vision appeared to Paul in the night, calling him to Macedonia.

I'm venturing to bet that in every one of those cities mentioned, Paul had big plans. He had speaking engagements. He had meetings set up with local people of influence. He had all his stuff together, ready to spread this Gospel of Jesus in the most effective, efficient, proactive way. He was that type of guy.

But every time he arrived, with his whole entourage, God would redirect. Now, i don't know about you, but for me it seems like that would get REALLY old after about the second time. REALLY OLD.

So, where's the balance? if you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow, if you are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away, then why go to the effort to make a plan, why try to even set up a todo list for tomorrow?

on the other hand, if i am called to number my days, and make the most of them because i do not know at what point i will have no more time, then how am i to make a plan if it will only be dashed on the rocks of change and redirection?

perhaps that quandary is why i identified with this song on the way home:

You see the world in black and white
No colour or light
You think you'll never get it right
But you're wrong... you might

The sky could fall, could fall on me
The parting of the seas
But you mean more, mean more to me
Than any colour I could see

'Cause I feel low
'Cause I feel low
Ohhhhhhhhhh
Yeah I feel low
Oh no
Ohhhhhhhhhh

Brad put it one way, too often we just say no, when we should just go.

God did not call me to sit here and worry about what i'm going to eat, or what i'm going to drink, or what i'm going to wear. He called me to be the salt and light. He called me to go and spread His love, called me to go and be a friend, to go and follow Him. Not to sit here and say no.

For me though, even though it sounds so cut and dried the way Brad put it, i still haven't a clue how these two, seemingly conflicting philosophies of life can coexist. maybe i'm to analytical. i guess it really does just lie in the fact that as we make our plans, He will direct our steps as we go, and He is faithful to be there and let me know if i'm not in the right place. its stepping out, and going, and taking the initiative, and being willing, that counts.

God's telling me too, that it's the pride of thinking that my plans are so much better than His redirection that is going to get me all hung up.

it's just so hard.

Vocal Impressions: Hearing Voices

2007-03-23T12:01:00.000-05:00

::mood::driving
::music::107.3FM, KOSU - Oklahoma Public Radio

All Things Considered, March 22, 2007 · In December, commentator Brian McConnachie asked listeners to describe the distinctive voices of...well-known personalities.

I congratulate all the contributors on adding to this new literature of voices. Overall, your responses to this group of voices...were pretty much in agreement.

Here are the ways in which you, the listeners, described these distinctive voices.

Norah Jones

The voice of Norah Jones conjured up a lot of sensuality. There were numerous references to chocolate: melted chocolate, hot chocolate and being dipped in tubs of milk chocolate.
Listen to Musician and Songwriter Norah Jones

"The softness and warmth of flannel" — Chris Christianson

"The voice of a pretty cheerleader who is kind enough to smile at a nerd like me" — Andrew Criss

"The push you give yourself before telling someone you love them, not knowing if they'll say it back" — Olivia Crumer

"The reflection off a bright red apple" — Clayton Ebenr

"The voice of the sexiness that every woman knows she possesses" — Janelle Fay

"Being wrapped in a warm towel after a dip in a cold stream" — Jeff Lonsdale

"That pebbly mud that feels good squished between your toes" — Kendall Powell

"Silk brushing your cheek as chocolate melts in your mouth" — – Stewart Thorne

"A woman's skin beneath milky bathwater" — Jamie Fetty Ward

"Crunchy peanut butter — mostly smooth with a bump here and there" — Adam Whiting

"The thick smell of lush garden flowers hanging onto the humidity dripping from the air of a warm summer night's breeze as it blows across my face while I sit and enjoy a freshly-squeezed, ice cold glass of lemonade spiked with spiced rum." - Yours Truly

Run to Jesus

2007-03-22T09:21:00.000-05:00

Feeling like a kid again
I've got all my plans made
I'm gonna go and save the world
I'm all grown up inside.

Then somewhere, out of nowhere,
my world comes crashing down.
I've got nothing worth standing on
I want to run and hide.

So I'm just running to Jesus
I'm crying out, My God
I'm nothing on my own
I give myself to You.

I want to leave a legacy
and make my life worthwhile
I want to see His kingdom come
on earth as 'tis in heav'n.

But all these chains that drag me down
keep me from feeling free
So once again, I learn humbly
that it's not me at all!

So I'm just running to Jesus
I'm crying out, My God
I'm nothing on my own
I give myself to You.

Why should any mortal man
complain about his life?
So we lift up our heart and hands
toward Good in heaven.

My eyes run down with streams of tears
because of what I've done
I'm feeling pain in my deepest soul
until the Lord looks down.

Then You draw near when I call to You
You tell me "Do Not Fear"
You set my feet upon a rock
You have redeemed my life.

So I'm just running to Jesus
I'm crying out, My God
I'm nothing on my own
I give myself to you.

Quote of the Day

2007-03-21T16:51:00.000-05:00

"The most wasted day of all
is that during which
we have not laughed."

- Sebastian R. N. Chamfort

Word of the Day

2007-03-19T14:47:00.000-05:00

::mood::distracted
::music::crazy dream by los lonely boys

as·per·ate [as-puh-reyt]
–verb (used with object), -at·ed, -at·ing.
to make rough, harsh, or uneven: a voice asperated by violent emotion.

Can You Hear Me Now?

2007-03-18T14:26:00.000-05:00

www.TheGatheringTulsa.com

Quote of the Day

2007-03-18T14:05:00.000-05:00

::mood::stuffed
::music::run to jesus...

"It's not wrong,
it's culturally acceptable!"

- Nathan P.

Business Plan

2007-03-16T14:33:00.000-05:00

::mood::scatterbrained
::music::coma, from flight of the flynns by kunek

"A FLASHY BUSINESS PLAN DOES NOT
TRANSFORM A BAD IDEA INTO A GOOD IDEA,
BUT A COMPREHENSIVE BUSINESS
PLAN CAN MAKE A GOOD IDEA EVEN BETTER."

Yeah, I'm working on writing a business plan right now. Which is much easier to sit here and say than actually to do. So back to grinding wheel I go.

Isaiah

2007-03-15T12:19:00.000-05:00

::mood::happy
::music::st. patrick's day, from room for squares by john mayer

Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you,
And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you
For the LORD is a God of justice;
How blessed are all those who long for Him.

O people in Zion, inhabitant in Jerusalem,
you will weep no longer
He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry;
when He hears it, He will answer you.

Although the Lord has given you bread of privation
and water of oppression,
He, your Teacher will no longer hide Himself,
but your eyes will behold your Teacher.

Your ears will hear a word behind you,
"This is the way, walk in it,"
whenever you turn to the right
or to the left.

- the bible

Podcasts make me happy!

2007-03-15T11:58:00.000-05:00

::mood::behind
::music::But Beautiful, title track from the album by The Bill Evans Trio, featuring Stan Getz

This makes me happy:

http://cpadmin.audioblog.com/rss/cp_messages.html - "Sunday Messages from ChangePoint Alaska - a Church in Anchorage that is living life change everyday."

I believe my world of podcasts just took a leap towards super-coolness.

Or you can search in iTunes for "changepoint messages"

I shall now be able to once again receive my weekly dosage of Karl and Dan.

Yeah!!!

Happy "Pi" Day

2007-03-14T01:59:00.000-05:00

::mood::geeky
::music::I Think It's going To Rain Today, from the album Call Off the Search by Katie Melua

The little geek inside me enjoys showing it's face on a day like today. //sheepish grin//

Today is 3/14. Fellow geeks and nerds alike will readily recognize the significance of that number, being the common approximation of the mathematical constant π.

So at 1:59, feel free to break out those calculators and celebrate!

It is also the birthday of Albert Einstein. Cute, huh?

You can go here for another great mathematics-laugh.

=}

Thirty Pints of Blood: A contrast in worldviews

2007-03-10T14:15:00.000-06:00

::mood::just chillin
::podcast::Thirty Pints of Blood, from Breakpoint Podcast by Chuck Colson

What difference does a worldview make? Around the world, we are seeing the clash of civilizations in action. In recent days, that clash has given us a story of life, and stories of death.

In Baghdad yesterday, a terrorist blew himself up with a car bomb, killing at least twenty-eight people and wounding dozens more. One witness told the Associated Press that pieces of human flesh were scattered all around the marketplace.

In Afghanistan last month, another terrorist blew himself up near a crowd gathered for a ceremony to open a hospital emergency ward. A few days later, a Sunni Muslim blew herself up and forty others at a college in Baghdad.

In all three cases, Muslims blew up Muslims. The response of Europe and the Muslim world to the stories of death? Outrage? No. Silence. Did the Western press condemn them? No.

Last week, another story was told on NBC News—this time, a riveting story of life.

NBC has been running a gripping series on the emergency military triage facilities in Iraq. Last Thursday, NBC showed wounded Iraqi insurgents being brought to Camp Speicher near Tikrit. Two of them had been caught placing an explosive device on a nearby road, intending to kill Americans, when a U.S. helicopter opened fire on them.

The U.S. medical team moved heaven and earth to save their lives. One insurgent, however, was not going to survive unless he got thirty pints of blood.

But the base was low on blood. The call went out for volunteer donors; minutes later, dozens of G.I.s had lined up.

At the head of the line was a battle-hardened soldier named Brian Suam. Asked if it mattered that his blood was going to an insurgent, he smiled and said, no—“A human life is a human life.”

I have never seen a more dramatic example of worldviews in contrast, nor have I been prouder of an American G.I. On one hand, we have the horrors of a civilization that values death—even the death of its own children—if by killing them they can hurt the infidels. On the other side, we have a story that makes us realize just how deeply embedded within American life is our Judeo-Christian heritage. This heritage teaches that human life is sacred—even the life of an enemy who falls into our hands.

These stories make nonsense of the claim that there is no real difference between Christianity and Islam. The clash of civilizations is not only about a fundamental difference between ways of viewing God, reality, life, and life’s meaning; it’s also about good versus evil, life versus death.

...continued.
[Note: I cut the rest of the article out because I do not agree with the author's view of 'peace-loving muslims', which he supports to be possible, while I call the very term an oxy-moron. Pleas feel free to read the rest for yourself, though.]

The Ultimate Gift

2007-03-08T10:44:00.000-06:00

::mood::ready
::book::The Ultimate Gift, by Jim Stovall

Travel

2007-03-07T11:53:00.000-06:00

You see that tiny litttle dot off the the far right side of this world map? The one that's now green?

Yup. That's Taiwan. Where I just came from. Where I WAS VISITING MY SISTERS. Just in case there were any questions!

=}

Milk Tea

2007-03-06T09:39:00.000-06:00

::mood::taiwanese
::music::Isaac's piano lesson

I guess it grows on you. At first I was sure that I wouldn't really get to like it. Then it was ok.

But this morning I missed the taste of it. And I made myself some zinshzu nai cha. Minus the zinshzu. I didn't have any of that available.

I guess I'll have to go back for another visit!

Alive?

2007-03-04T22:06:00.000-06:00

::mood::giving up
::music::All I Need, Charlie Hall

Tonight I found myself standing up during church service and singing along with the music. Nothing unusual. A liittle bit different perhaps. Before Sunday was visiting, leading worship.

But as I sang along, I couldn't help but realize how much I couldn't mean the words I was singing.

We have all we need in You
And all we need is You
All we need is You

Sure, I could mean them in the sense that I know that they're correct. I know it's right that Jesus has got everything I really need. But the next verse was a bugger:

Rich or poor God I want You more
Than anything that glitters in this world
Be my all, all consuming fire

"How", I asked myself, "can you just stand there and say that? How? when deep down inside you don't mean it. Quit fooling yourself. You don't really mean it cause you're not really living it. It just doesn't add up."

Words rang out in my head that I'd been saying just the night before,

"There, they are so dead." I'd neatly planted my soapbox, and then deftly mounted it in all my vain glory. "There's just no life there. No creativity. No new evidence of a walk with God. I can't be a part of that."

But the indictment rang out even louder,

"You hypocrite. You big FAT hypocrite. How are you in even one small way different from the cricitism you threw out just hours ago? What small evidence shows through in how you live your life to show your vibrant friendship with Jesus? Remember Katie? and Jon? and Derrell? Those people you so loved to be around; you loved them because they were ALIVE. They had something to live for! They lived every day in excitement of a truly fresh walk with their Saviour. They were in love with Jesus."

And I stood there. Just mumbling now. Trying not to look stupid. Still focused more on what people around me thought than on the debate going on inside my head. The debate where my conscience, powered by the Spirit of God, was making the point to my head, my intellect and fleshly instincts, that something's drastically wrong.

You can have all my hands can hold
My heart, mind, strength and soul
Be my all, all consuming fire

Yeah, right. Even if I wanted to mean that, I don't think I could. Pretty much, I think the only thing open to me right now is to give up. Give up trying. Just take a baby step in the right direction. And hope that eventually, I'll get back on track. Like I wrote on my prayer request paper this morning during sunday school, I'm just praying that in this next week God will forgive me, alot; motivate me, alot; and bless me, alot.

'Cause, God knows, I need it. I need Him. I wanna be alive.

Quote of the Day

2007-03-04T13:34:00.000-06:00

::mood::convicted
::music::Never Again, from the album Extended Play by Unspoken

"If you would not be forgotten,
as soon as you are dead and rotten,
either write things worth reading,
or do things worth the writing."
-benjamin franklin

Quote of the Day

2007-03-02T22:47:00.000-06:00

We, the beautiful,
cannot be held responsible
for the havoc we create.

- That '70s Show

Jetlag

2007-03-02T00:59:00.000-06:00

::mood::not a bit sleepy
::movie::Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera, fullscreen edition dvd

It appears that jetlag is good for listening to podcasts...

...great for catching up on sermons,

...fantastic for listening to new music,

...even better for finishing half-watched movies,

...or even making new ones.

But not so good for sleeping.

I'm thinking I may just not go to bed tonight and go straight to work instead. It is in only three hours afterall. And at the rate that I slept in, it would only be like going to work at eight p.m. for your normal eight-to-five-er. Not that great of a taxation on my body, I don't believe.

spread the love

2007-03-01T22:52:00.000-06:00

::mood::caffeinated
::music::what are you doing tonight? from the album attraction jackson by brian rowe

be sure to spread the love around. it's good to be back where exquisite espresso is available to boys and girls of all ages.

Nordaggio's
Coffee

EARLY-BIRD
SPECIAL

40% off Drinks & Gelato
at our riverwalk location

8am to 12pm

offer ends mar. 9th 2007

Uhhmmmm....

2007-03-01T01:16:00.000-06:00

::mood::home
::music::nothing, just the anticipation of a shower

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to welcome you aboard United Airlines flight number 6153 with service to..."

The sudden, yet brief, silence that ensued while our friendly flight attendant ducked into the cockpit and conferenced with the pilots as to where exactly it was we were headed was enough to cause a few to chuckle, and the rest of us to wonder to ourselves, 'what in the world am i doing on this plane?!? and how can i get off?!? i just want to go home!!!'

Pictures

2007-02-25T01:15:00.000-06:00

::mood::rainy outside
::music::not yet
::drink::ru nai cha (hot milk tea)

Taiwan 2007

Get on with it.

2007-02-24T11:58:00.000-06:00

::mood::can't sleep
::music::the bubble

I used to
have a dream

of how I'd
live my life,

In such a
way that makes

a difference
forever.

Get on with it. Get on with it.
That's right, Get on with it.
I'm talking to you.

How do I lose track of where I've been
and where I wanted to be?
How do I get back to where I'm going
and what I really want to be me?

Get on with it. Get on with it.
That's right, Get on with it.
I'm talkin' to me.

Word of the Day

2007-02-22T09:20:00.000-06:00

::mood::shorn
::music::dan price - "eclipse", riverview church podcasts

Me: "Karaoke is so impeccably asian."

Adam: "I do not think that word means what you think it means."

im·pec·ca·ble

1 : not capable of sin, or liable to sin

2 : free from fault or blame

Me: "I stand corrected." (several hours later, and only after consulting the above definitive definition)

Tulsa GOP Latest: Congressman John Sullivan opposition remarks to H.Con. Res. 63

2007-02-18T14:53:00.000-06:00

::mood::need to get some rest
::music::snoring a 7.2 on the Richter scale

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today, Congressman John Sullivan spoke on the House floor in opposition to H. Con. Res. 63, the Iraq war resolution. His remarks can be found below:

"Mr. Speaker:

I rise today in strong opposition to H. Con. Res. 63

It is impossible, despite what the Democrat's have claimed, to both support the troops and not support the increase in troops necessary to win this war. With this nonbinding resolution, Democrats maintain they support the troops, but at the same time disapprove of their mission. This confusing message simply lends encouragement to the Iraqi insurgents and terrorists to believe that every roadside bomb brings them closer to their goal of a terrorist state in the heart of the Middle East.

The simple fact is the deployment of troops to secure Baghdad has already begun. In fact, soldiers of the 82nd Airborne Division, who were deployed after President Bush's call for a temporary increase in troops, are already in Iraq doing critical work with the Iraqi Security Forces. The passage of this misguided resolution does nothing except demoralize these brave men and women in uniform and invigorate those who wish Americans harm.

The consequences of failure in Iraq could not be greater. The outcome in Iraq will directly affect America's efforts in the Global War on Terror for generations. A victory for the Islamic militants, such as the al-Qaeda members who are embedded in the al-Anbar province of Iraq and the Iranians in Iraq who are provoking sectarian violence, would embolden the enemy to expand the reach of their efforts. Retreat would result in instability in the region, encourage radical Islamic terrorists and rogue regimes to expand into the region and give terrorists a sanctuary from which to launch attacks against the U.S. and the West.

The bipartisan Iraq Study Group recognized the need of a troop surge to secure Iraq. To this end, I ask unanimous consent to submit pages 27-29 and page 73 of the Iraq Study Group report for the record on this issue and to highlight the grave humanitarian consequences of a withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq. I am tired of
hearing Democrats constantly criticizing our plans for Iraq, yet they do not have a plan of their own. It is a shame that they have chosen to play politics with our men
and women in uniform.

Democrats now have the responsibility to govern, but they lack both a plan for success in Iraq and the political will to advance a bill that cuts off funding for the troops. They say that the problems in Iraq can only be solved by a political solution. While this is true to some extent, you cannot solve the problems of Iraq diplomatically and politically without first providing security to the Iraqi people. Security must go hand in hand with a political solution. Democrats need to understand that their political choices and rhetoric hurt our troops morale and give comfort to the enemy.

We all agree that it is time for the Iraqi's to step forward, end the sectarian violence and build a responsible government. Iraqi Prime Minister al-Maliki has promised the American people that in this new campaign, Iraqi troops will be the ones knocking down doors, arresting insurgents, and patrolling the streets, with U.S. troops in a supporting role. We cannot give up at a critical point in Iraq's fledgling democracy.

Failure in Iraq is not an option. If we do not win in Iraq, we leave it up to future generations to tackle the problems of Islamic terrorism in this unstable region. There is no short term solution in Iraq because it is not a short term problem.

Today, our brave men and women in Iraq are rising to the challenge to secure Baghdad from a vicious enemy, risking their lives for their country and our national security. The message the Democrats send with this resolution as we commit our forces to battle is a vote declaring their inevitable defeat.

I encourage all my colleagues to vote NO on this misguided and ill-timed resolution.
I yield back the balance of my time."

Real Time Travel

2007-02-11T18:03:00.000-06:00

::mood::i love coffee!!!
::music::tropical birds, and mopeds speeding past outside my window

2/9/07

I left home yesterday. Said goodbye to my family.

Only, it wasn’t quite the goodbye I’m used to. It was rather weird. I’ll tell you why: when I left last night, I only had two people to say goodbye to. And both of them were asleep. Michael had an emergency response call. My mom left to take him to the meeting point. While Isaac and Benjamin went along for the ride. Naturally, all the other sisters were away; either because they’re married, or because I was going to visit them!

And what a visit it will be! Three entire weeks of vacation, touring, sightseeing, catching up on old times, doting, and general frivolity. Ah, yes, in case you wanted to ask, I am excited!

Arriving at the airport 40 minutes early was a great way to kick off the day. I got through security uneventfully, then came across a new feature in the Tulsa airport that I’d never seen before. Come to think of it, it was about the only thing new. I haven’t set foot past that security gate to get on a plane for right about two years. But hardly a thing has changed in all that time. Except for this fountain. I had to stop and take some pics of it for Nathan. I thought it would be some great inspiration for his future ventures.

A short flight. Now I’m in Chicago. I call home to see what time it is cause I’m beginning to realize that it’s probably not worth it for me to keep track until I arrive at my final destination. Meanwhile, in the space of a few minutes walking, I do a double take to make sure I’m not walking in circles. Nope. I’m not. That really is just another Starbucks thirty seconds walking distance from the last one. The sixth or seventh to be exact! And long lines at every one of em. I swear, one could probably walk past three in the time it would take him to get through the line of one!

I find an outlet. Power up all my gadgets.

Then I find jon. Or, rather, he finds me. and we power up all his gadgets.

Lunch. Currency exchange. The prospect of a free ticket to Hawaii. Were sitting aboard our plane now. A 747. I frantically text everyone, saying goodbye. Rerecord a voicemail since I wont be turning my phone back on for three weeks! Then I discuss the freedoms of shedding an electronic leash with Jenn.

Ah, turbulence now. Not a lot. A plane this big doesn’t get it too bad. Oh, well. I rather like it when the plan jumps around a bit. Somehow it’s a little soothing. Call me weird!

Two hours and thirty seven minutes into our flight now. The map on the projector says we’re somewhere over the far north of Canada right now. Four-thousand some odd miles left to go. Jonathan moved to the empty seat next to me and is taking a nap. I’ve got Elizabethtown in the dvd player and I’m wondering what it is that motivates me to submit myself to such tortures as being crammed into such a small place with two hundred fifty other people who I don’t know from adam. Don’t get me wrong. I do love traveling…and I know I’m looking forward to the prospect of getting to see my two super-hip sisters. It’s just: why this? Why now? Why at the expense of my elbows and knees and feet and neck and….well, I guess I’m just a lanky guy. What else can I say.

Omie called me when I was in Chicago. So the plan is to meet up with them Saturday afternoon at our hotel. That’s assuming we make it to the hotel! This is all we’ve got to go off of…

Quote(s) of the Day

2007-02-11T08:33:00.000-06:00

::mood::sleepy
::music::to make her love me, from the album me and my gang by rascall flatts

Adam is quoteable:

"Excuse me, but you have noodles on your pants."

"Mao kutse" (I have no pants)

"One day, I want to be a bum in Taipei."

-----------------------------------------------
Word of the Day:

Karmetic: kär-'mə-tik - adj.
"of or pertaining to that which has an effect on the balance of karma."

-----------------------------------------------
In Other News:

Cate is now armed and dangerous. Again.
She has her knife back!

From Taiwan 2007

Taipei Main Station

2007-02-10T20:00:00.000-06:00

Breaking News

2007-02-10T12:43:00.000-06:00

::mood::awake
::music::Glamorous, from the album The Dutchess, by Fergie (feat. Ludacris)

February 10, 2007 AP - TWO HAPLESS AMERICANS RAISE MAYHEM IN TRAIN STATION: Two american men were stranded at the Taipei Main Train Station yesterday for 20 hours while they waited for help to arrive. Not knowing a word of Chinese, or even how to get in contact with the people who were supposed to be meeting them, they spent the entirety of their time wandering around, jabbering loudly in English, and randomly throwing an occasional carry-on at unsuspecting passers-by.
In addition to this, they managed to make a feature-length documentary film on the history of the station, the culture of it's current operation, as well as the future of travel in the far east. All this, using only the video feature of their combined eight cell phones.
Just as authorities arrived on the scene to take definitive action to remove these two trouble-makers, events occured to stun all who watched. Two beautiful American girls came out of nowhere to take charge and dispell all the unrest. With flawless Chinese, and unmistakeable poise, these two fair maidens defied tradition and rescued their handsome knights from their would-be fate of a nights' experience of Chinese Torture.
Noone knows for sure what happened that day. But one thing is certain: some people in this world sure do know how to kick off a vacation!

the disintegration of an idol

2007-02-03T13:12:00.000-06:00

::mood::extreme chillin
::music::Little Room, from the album Not Too Late by Norah Jones

there is a point at which every idol breaks down.

you ever get that feeling?

every hero, or inspiration, may be larger than life in your imagination. their influence on you might be limitless. everything you hear only confirms that, one day, when you grow up, you want to be just like them.

the very ground they tread is sacred to you.

but at some point, and usually at the most inopportune time, that vision of perfection will begin to crack.

not crumble, no. it doesn't have to disintegrate before your eyes. but what i'm talking about is that slight imperfection that springs up. the slighter, the worse. because in directly opposite proportion to greatness of your idol, the most insignificant imperfection can cause you to dismiss them entirely.

it's just that little nagging bit of trivia in the back of your mind that comes forth to haunt you whenever your think of this influence, the robber of all pleasure, the dasher of all hopes of emulation. usually a pet peeve, for me, that comes out into the light to cause me to realize that, perhaps, all my visions of this idol are flawed. that, perhaps, when i grow up, i don't want to be just like them after all.

maybe i'm just better off being me. or maybe, i'm better off only accepting the good parts.

i think it's just basic human tendency to look for an idol, tho. someone, or something, maybe some ideology, that contains the whole of everything good, right, and true. some hero to save the day. an example to follow. an inspiration to motivate. a vision to strive for.

it's about motivating yourself by imagining the impossible is really quite possible after all.

i guess that's what makes Jesus so great.

He's the only God that doesn't break down in the end. He's perfect.

and, one day, when i grow up i'm wanna be just like Him.

Canon in D

2007-02-01T10:08:00.000-06:00

::mood::laughing
::music::Canon in D, by Johann Pachelbel

pricelessly funny. maybe it's just the musician in me, but i'm still laughing!!!

special thanks to rachel for the referral

Fancy

2007-01-25T09:51:00.000-06:00

::mood::somewhat antsy
::music::fancy, from the album Piece by Piece by katie melua (an exclusive video from the special bonus edition of the album)

I have to say that I've never encountered such an intersection of genre as I'm seeing now.

What do you get when you take a blues/jazz/pop/norahjones-ish style singer, back it up with an Oscar Perterson-esq piano-jazz, throw in a devil-went-down-to-georgia/Charlie Daniels style fiddle line, tie it together with lyrics fitting for Gretchen Wilson's Redneck Woman...and then perform it live in Great Britain?!?

Well, apparently, this is what you get!

Enjoy!

Mac & Cheese

2007-01-23T20:04:00.000-06:00

::mood::slightly headachey
::music::thoughtless DEMO, by 38th Parallel

I feel I should take a moment to mark the occasion:

Without officially making a statement in either direction regarding my expertise, or ineptitude, in the culinary arts, I find myself relating to anyone who cares to listen the following story:

I successfully failed at making mac and cheese.

Yes, that's right. I. flopped. at. making. macaroni. and. cheese.

What can I say? Count on me to whip up a magical batch of waffles. But don't let me near the pasta!

Without the amazing powdery stuff that I'm used to using, I somehow mixed up a pot where all the cheese stuck to my spoon. While the milk and macaroni merrily swirled around in the bottom of the pan. And, yes, the stove was hot. I'm not quite thickheaded enough to try and mix it up raw and cold!

But in spite of it all, I still ate it. And Steves didn't seem to mind either!

=}

Quote of the Day

2007-01-22T11:15:00.000-06:00

::mood::all over the map
::music::Señorita from the self titled album by the Los Lonely Boys

"If you remove all sense of sin
You make man no longer a sinner
Who then is no longer in need of a Saviour
And that is the Devil's deception."

- Steve Johnson

Be A Man

2007-01-20T19:21:00.000-06:00

If I said I were over it
like a bridge
If I said I forgot
like an elephant would not
What kind of a man would I be?

If I didn’t think it through
for myself
If I let her walk all
over me
What kind of a man would I be?

What's it take to
do this thing?
To come out alive from the
boxing ring
I guess I'll find out
what it takes
To be the kind of man that I
need to be.

I’m gonna stay where I
have to stay
I’m gonna go where I
have to go
I’m not gonna do it just
because I can
I’m gonna stand up and
Be a man.