Tired

::mood:: tired
::music:: me talking to myself

i. am. tired.

i am tired of getting my hopes up.
i am tired of getting them dashed to pieces.
i am tired of looking around me and getting excited about what i see.
i am tired of putting effort in stuff that doesn't pan out.
i am tired of hearing no.
i am tired of feeling like i'm worthless.
i am tired of not making any headway.
i am tired of being in a holding cell.
i am tired of facing the same problems day in, day out.
i am tired of simply existing.
i am tired of being persistent.
i am more tired of my persistence not showing any evidence of paying off.
i am not tired of giving all that i have to whatever is in front of me.
but i am tired of giving all that i have to something that doesn't really matter.
or seem to matter.
and then having nothing left for what really counts.
i am tired of not beating myself at my own game.
i am tired of putting up with the crap that flies around me.
i am sick and tired of being sick and tired.