To Go or Say No

::mood::in pain
::music::Low, from the album X&Y by Coldplay

You see the world in black and white
But paint it white
You see no meaning to your life
You should try
You should try

i was reminded today of how far above mans ways are God's.

on one hand, i have the goal of 'getting my life in order', of becoming more organized, effective, efficient, productive. in short, i'm trying to plan ahead more often.

but then, on the other hand, God's only gives light to my feet, showing me the next step of the way. as brad illustrated tonight, we want a map, all googled out and ready to go, we want to know where we're going, why we're going there, and how we're going to get there, and when.

But all too often, the way God works is to give us a compass, not a map. He gives us coordinates, and says, follow My leading. Just Go!

but we sit here and program ourselves that the keyword is "NO". we feel way more comfortable to try and plan it all out. take things into our own control.

the mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps, Proverbs says.

Paul had a plan to go into Asia to preach. He ended up in Lystra, where he met Timothy, who joined him in his renewed plan to proceed to asia. but they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. and after they came to Mysia, they were trying to go into Bithynia, and the Spirit of Jesus did not permit them;
and passing by Mysia, they came down to Troas.

and finally? after all that? A vision appeared to Paul in the night, calling him to Macedonia.

I'm venturing to bet that in every one of those cities mentioned, Paul had big plans. He had speaking engagements. He had meetings set up with local people of influence. He had all his stuff together, ready to spread this Gospel of Jesus in the most effective, efficient, proactive way. He was that type of guy.

But every time he arrived, with his whole entourage, God would redirect. Now, i don't know about you, but for me it seems like that would get REALLY old after about the second time. REALLY OLD.

So, where's the balance? if you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow, if you are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away, then why go to the effort to make a plan, why try to even set up a todo list for tomorrow?

on the other hand, if i am called to number my days, and make the most of them because i do not know at what point i will have no more time, then how am i to make a plan if it will only be dashed on the rocks of change and redirection?

perhaps that quandary is why i identified with this song on the way home:

You see the world in black and white
No colour or light
You think you'll never get it right
But you're wrong... you might

The sky could fall, could fall on me
The parting of the seas
But you mean more, mean more to me
Than any colour I could see

'Cause I feel low
'Cause I feel low
Ohhhhhhhhhh
Yeah I feel low
Oh no
Ohhhhhhhhhh

Brad put it one way, too often we just say no, when we should just go.

God did not call me to sit here and worry about what i'm going to eat, or what i'm going to drink, or what i'm going to wear. He called me to be the salt and light. He called me to go and spread His love, called me to go and be a friend, to go and follow Him. Not to sit here and say no.

For me though, even though it sounds so cut and dried the way Brad put it, i still haven't a clue how these two, seemingly conflicting philosophies of life can coexist. maybe i'm to analytical. i guess it really does just lie in the fact that as we make our plans, He will direct our steps as we go, and He is faithful to be there and let me know if i'm not in the right place. its stepping out, and going, and taking the initiative, and being willing, that counts.

God's telling me too, that it's the pride of thinking that my plans are so much better than His redirection that is going to get me all hung up.

it's just so hard.