RRRRRINGGG!!!
ME: [Looking at caller ID, sees "UNKNOWN NAME, UNKNOWN NUMBER". Decides to take the call for the family.] Hello...
TELEMARKETER: Hello, how are you today?
ME: I'm fine, thanks. And how are you?
TM: I'm doing great. I'm calling to let you know that our records show that your vehicle is nearing the 80,000 mile mark and you have not yet taken advantage of any of the benefits of the manufacturer warranty. Now, we understand that this is important to you especially as your car ages and we'd like to talk to you about an extended warranty that will be able to pick up right where the manufacturer warranty leaves off so that you have no break in your total vehicle coverage for any types of breakdowns or repairs...
ME: [Would like to interject and try to figure out exactly who this guy is. But, he keeps going...no breaks.]
TM:...as you know, maintaining your vehicle can be time consuming and very costly, so we'd like to get you set up with this additional coverage to keep you from being hit with hundreds of thousands of dollars in repair costs. Now if we can just confirm the current mileage and model of your vehicle so that I can give you an exact quote on this extended warranty for you.
ME: [Finally! A break for me to talk!] Who exactly did you say you were with?
TM: Yeah, it's the Motor Vehicle Protection Corporation. We, um, uh, work with all the major vehicle manufacturers, um, uh, to, uh, provide additional coverage for their customers once their original warranty expires.
ME: [Quickly jumps in before he has a chance to say another word.] And how exactly did you get this number?
TM: [Stutters, spurts, restarts] We have a database. Uh, we work with, uh, um, all the major manufacturers to offer coverage to all their customers listed in their databases so that we can be sure that you wont be hit with any big repairs. We just want to offer this to you and...blah blah blah...
ME: [Officially over the common courtesy thing, interrupts] I understand you got this number from a database. What is this database, though? How did you get this number?
ME: [Pauses just long enough to give this TM the hint of an idea that he had the chance to open his mouth again]
ME: [Continues] Let me just ask you this: Which one of my vehicles were you inquiring about?
TM: [Without pausing or stuttering this time] The ford.
ME: Really? [Inserts another deceiving pause] Because I neither have a Ford, nor are any of my vehicles anywhere near the 80,000 mile mark. So, to my knowledge this call is in violation of the National Do Not Call List, in which this number is registered.
TM: [Sputtering and stammering again] Well, um, uh, you mean to say this isn't the Smith residence?
ME: Um...NO!!!
TM: Well, I'm sorry then, we must have the wrong number. You have a great evening.
ME: Wait a minute, not so fast. Again, what did you say the name of your company was?
TM: Um, the Motor Vehicle Protection Corporation.
ME: [Quickly scribbles the name down] Fine. Well, you-be-sure-to-take-this-number-off-of-your-list-
-I-do-not-want-to-hear-from-you-again-CLICK.
Go ahead. Google it. There's no such company.
Yes, I reported them.
Ford. Smith. My big toe.
1 comment:
Grr, how annoying! Can't say I'd have caught him, I'd have just been like: yeah, yeah, okay, well, no thanks, wait! This number shouldn't be listed!... you rock!
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