I'm Sorry

::mood::wishing
::music::Blame It On The Tetons, from the album Good News for People Who Love Bad News by Modest Mouse

I have to apologize for the way _______ treated you the other day.

I've been enjoying what I've been able to catch of the Tommy Nelson series. But the discussion after last week's episode somehow evolved into a full-scale rehashing of old, worn-out, overused, Christian terminology. And as I sat there, I didn't really see where it was going. I didn't really want to get involved.

But then you asked your question; a very real and provoking question, one that I expect few people in that room have ever wrestled with, much less thought about.

I can't say I know where that came from, or what you've been through, or where you were going with it. But I take it at face value. And I heard genuineness.

What followed was gross. Most who replied seemed to ignore the whole point of the question, reverting back to their glossy presuppositions that keep them comfy warm at night. They attacked the very basis of the question in sarcasm and went on to throw out more religious jargon, verbiage that does noone a bit of good.

And I'm sorry.

I heard a real question. Then I heard a wash of bullshit that had little to do with reality.

And as one who's made myself a part of the class group, I take responsibility for that. As a whole, we rejected the questioning attitude, as well as the person behind the questioning; we rejected you.

On one hand, I hope that you weren't alienated by it; I'd hate for false, flaky christianity to get in the way of a search for true spirituality. On the other hand, I hope you were; sometimes you just have to realize where you're not going to find any answers.

I often think that the greatest people, the greatest minds of all time, were made that way by hard questions. And gritty determination to face the questions until they were resolved.

I personally hate conflict, of any kind. But god knows life is full of it. And I try not to back down when it comes my way. So I've learned a few things. And accepted that some things just don't make sense.

But a lot of things still piss me off. Especially stuff like this.

I hope you're able to continue your honest questioning. And I hope it pays off for you.